So, again, it's been months since I posted last. This time it's because some really terrible shit has happened that I really didn't want to write about and then I got busy with a bunch of stuff, not the least of which being Gothcoming which was pure awesome from start to finish.

For those of you that didn't make it we may be having another sooner than expected. I'll keep you posted on that.

Anyways, I'm making my annual post about X-Mas encroaching on Halloween, but with a slight twist this year. See, I've finally figured out why politicians, notoriously the lowest scum on the face of the planet, are so keen to cozy up to the religious right and show what great christians they are, while at the same time committing acts of the purest evil.

Bear in mind, this thought came to me at 5 in the morning after washing down some painkillers with diet Mountain Dew.

So I was noticing that the X-Mas ads started coming earlier and earlier each year and this year they've started well before Halloween, which is an abomination to me, and It dawned on me that the timing of the rushing of the X-Mas season seems to be in proportion with how messed up the economy is. THEN it dawned on me that the X-Mas season is the most important time of the year for most retail stores. Then I put it all together. Our economy is so dependent on the X-Mas season to stay afloat that the politicians are falling over one another to sell their souls to Santa. Trouble is, they already worship the almighty dollar and since money is the root of all evil that means that politicians are all Satanists.

Hey, these are my rules. You don't like them? Make up some of your own. It's fun.

The real revelation here is that politicians aren't really christians. They're just acting like christians to promote a holiday that benefits them financially. Putting that together really warms my blackened little heart.

And before you tell me how wrong I am, think about it. My theory does explain why every politician on both sides has to make some effort to keep the christians happy. It explains why the ones that act like the biggest christians seem to always get caught doing the things they decry the most. They're EXPLOITING christians for their own benefit! It's actually kinda brilliant from my standpoint.

This brings me to the other thing I needed to post about; the upcoming election.

I swore off voting after the election of George 'the Dancing Monkey-Boy' Bush because after that obviously no good can come of it. But I voted in the last election because friends of mine who believe in voting also believed that I should be voting even if I didn't believe in it. So I did. Now it's that time again.

Actually, I didn't swear off voting entirely. I just swore it off until we got an openly non-christian (or better yet non-religious altogether) candidate, but in light of the Santa connection that's not going to happen within my fucking lifetime...

I honestly don't see why nobody else sees this, but here goes. In an election you don't get to chose the candidate you want. You get to chose between the people that the people in charge have selected and decided they'll ALLOW you to vote for. Without exception these are people that have no idea what life is like for any of us and they don't give a rats ass about any of you. Yes, even the politician you like, he or she is a lying shitbag. In fact, the more a candidate seems like a good choice, the more out of touch and evil they are.

HOWEVER, many of my friends believe in voting and I'm trying to be sensitive to that, so I've decided I'm going to vote even though I think it's a massive waste of my precious (well, semi-precious) time. I don't know where anyone stands on any of the issues and even if I did it's my firm belief that anything a politician says is a lie, so if I DID know what they said they stood for I'd believe the exact opposite anyway. So I've decided, in the interest of irony, to be democratic about this, so I'm going to have a poll. In the comments below tell me who you think I should vote for.

Most votes wins.

I will stand by the results of this poll. Whomever wins I WILL vote for, so hit me with it people. Otherwise I'm just going to go in and write in a bunch of joke names. Partially to make a statement about what a farce I think the whole system is and partially because it's funny to vote for Seymour Butts for Governor.

And for those of you who are wondering, yes, I am a deeply cynical person. It's a cynicism born out of disappointment in my fellow planet-mates. I'd have said fellow humans, but I'm still operating on the assumption that I'm not actually from this planet. Perhaps that's just wishful thinking. Point is, all our problems can be easily solved if we could just put superstition and greed out of the way for a little while, anyone that tells you different is after your money.

PS: I've never heard a song by Justin Bieber, but could somebody please shove him in front of a speeding bus? Thank you.

Ok, the plague that has gripped me for the last two fucking weeks has mostly subsided and I slept through December the fucking 8th, so I pretty much didn't have to deal with it AND the fractured ankle is pretty much healed.

So now I can post stuff!

You lucky FREAKS!

Yeah, I guess I could have been posting stuff all along, but it would have just been mopey bullshit and/or bitching about various things hurting and I decided a long time ago that I wasn't going to take up more than 90% of the blog with that horseshit.

Anyhow, I've taken a little criticism online about my “Get Christ the Fuck Out Of X-Mas” program. Some people thought it was 'mean' and 'cynical' and 'fucking stupid'. To these critics I have but one thing to say: the T-shirt design is already in the works, and the holiday special can't be far behind.

This post is a lot different, but someone will probably find something to complain about in it too. People are weird that way...

So I wake up this afternoon and start flipping channels because it's too goddamn cold to get out of bed and I find the TV on CNN. Normally I don't watch any news programs that aren't on Comedy Central because they make my fucking blood boil, but they ran a teaser topic that I had to stick around for. Apparently the Russians were finally revealing what they did with the remains of Adolph Hitler.

I figured this would be a great time to rant about one of my favorite soft-science pet-peeves, so I stuck around to see just what exactly the Ruskies did with Hitler so I could make my rant with as much information on my side as possible.

CNN then teased the story FOR TWO FUCKING HOURS.

After all that wait what did they reveal? Right after the war they took the body home, cremated it and tossed it in a fucking river. For some reason they kept the jawbone and the part of his skull with the bullet hole in it, and I have absolutely no doubt some nutjob has his brain in a jar somewhere, but they didn't mention that.

Why do I think someone has his brain in a jar somewhere? Because if I could have Hitler's brain in a jar I would and I don't even LIKE Hitler. It would just be cool as hell to have. People would come over, “Say, what's that?” “Why.” I would say “That's Hitler's brain in a jar!” and they'd be all like “Fucking COOL!”

Yes, YOUR friends would think it was cool too, they just wouldn't admit it. My friends rule that way.

Anyhow, this brings me to the peeve part. See, every time cloning comes up in the media one of the opponents always says “Well what if somebody cloned HITLER!”

So now, you guessed it, I want to clone Hitler.

Let that sink in for a second.

I WANT TO CLONE HITLER.

Why do I want to do this? It's not out of any love for Nazis or anything. I want to clone Hitler to show idiots that don't understand how cloning works that you would get a genetically identical body but none of the memories or personality of the original person. You would basically have a twin. A much, much younger twin.

Also, like with the brain in a jar, you'd have a hell of a conversation piece.

“Hey!, when did you have a kid!”

“Oh, him? He's not mine, he's a clone of Adolph Hitler!”

“Fucking COOL!”

Just think of all the fun you'd have raising Adolph Jr. Just to be a real dick to the original Hitler (and everyone that still thinks he was a swell guy) I'd have to raise him Jewish of course, that would be a challenge for me, and I'm sure there would be plenty of kidnapping and/or assassination attempts but that's kinda par for the course with celebrity kids right? Besides, if something does happen to him I can always make another one. Maybe I could have several and do a Partridge Family thing? Make an extra one for Angelina Jolie to adopt? The possibilities are pretty much endless.

But all fantasizing aside, I want someone to clone Hitler just so that the “Ohh, what if they clone HITLER!” people will have to eat a fucking bag of shit. These people think it's like a giant toaster oven and an adult with his personality and memories will come walking out. They have absolutely no concept whatsoever of how cloning works and it completely chaps my ass.

And even if it DID produce a fully formed human being with all Hitler's memories he wouldn't automatically start World War fucking III. True, there are people that would want to follow him, but not nearly enough to really accomplish anything. He'd just be entertaining. Actually, phrasing it that way, he'd be Ross Perot...

Think of the reality show possibilities though! “I'm With Hitler!”, “Get Me Out of Here, I'm Hitler!”, “Are you Smarter Than Hitler?”

Granted though, if he did have the memories of the original then the last memory would be that of having blown his own brains out so he'd likely be traumatized enough to be pretty much worthless.

So again, kinda like Ross Perot...

Please, PLEASE Russian scientists, CLONE HITLER! I promise I'll take care of him and feed him and everything!



Oh, on a side note, the 18th is coming up fast people! Be sure to mark it on your calendars and get your asses to Gothcoming 2009! It's going to be full of ultra-hot chicks taking off their clothes! Plus there will be like music and alcohol and stuff, and door prizes!

Again, it's being hosted by my good friend Victoria Sapphire and sponsored by The Garden and The Joint. Guests will include Angela Ryan and Rebecca of Rebecca's Rubber Room. (Also again, you really don't want to click those links if you're at work.)

It's at Skully's Music-Diner. Doors open at 9 PM, you've got to be 18 or older to get in.

I expect every one of you within driving distance and over 18 to be there. It's seriously going to rock people's faces off. RIGHT - THE - FUCK - OFF.

Thanksgiving's a'comin'...

Ok, I wasn't sure if I was going to write about either of these topics, but since they kinda mesh together I've decided to throw caution to the wind.

Those of you that have seen me do that before know that you should start feeling scared now.

The second part of the GWAR story will have to wait a bit.

See, Mike D. had been bugging me for years to start going to church with him. He's a Unitarian Universalist. For those of you unfamiliar with the Unitarians, they are a religion, but a religion that doesn't maintain a lot of the trappings of other more 'traditional' (for lack of a better word) religions and he therefore figured it was a perfect fit for me.

Problem is, the Unitarians are still enough like a 'traditional' religion to set off my flight reflex. See, I've come to realize that my aversion to religion has been developing into a full blown phobia. Given how successfully (and happily) I've been avoiding it all these years I didn't realize just how bad it had been getting except for the few times I did accompany Mike to a church function or attended a wedding. On those occasions I managed to deal with it, but churches make me EXTREMELY uncomfortable. To put it in perspective, I would rather lay in a tub full of cold vomit and have a bucket of live spiders dumped on my head than spend any length of time in a church.

I liken it to the Bill Hicks routine about the “People Who Hate People party”:

“There's a new party being born: The People Who Hate People Party. People who hate people, come together! "No!" We're kind of having trouble getting off the boards. Come to our meeting! "Are you gonna be there?" Yeah. "Then I ain't fucking coming." But you're our strongest member! "Fuck you!" That's what I'm talking about, you asshole! Fuck off! Damn, we almost had a meeting going. It's so hard to get my people together.”

I would try explaining to Mike that I really dislike religions and basically everything that goes with them and he would counter with “That's fine, the Unitarians are a group of people who have that in common with you!”

“A group of people with common interests who meet together on Sunday in a church to discuss it?”

“Yes!”

“Well they can goddamn do it without me.”

Having said all this, I have attended the Unitarian church in Columbus a couple times in the last few months. I've done this mainly (at first) because K also attends this church and invited me and I think it would have been extraordinarily rude of me to not go, even without having explained my preference for vomit covered spiders. She didn't know how strong my aversion was because largely I didn't know myself, so please don't get the impression that she did anything wrong by 'making' me go. She didn't make me go, I chose to go and even had a good time apart from the creeping waves of unease that I couldn't suppress. I chose to go back because that's how you get over a phobia, you confront it.

Again, they're a nice bunch of people, nice ceremony, but it looks like a church, sounds like a church, smells like a church and that's enough to wind me pretty tight. It's strange, but it affects me on a level that, frankly, I thought I was above.

So that brings us to the other topic I didn't know if I was gonna write about. The election.

I wanted to get moved to Columbus in time to register to vote up there so that if I chose to vote it might mean something. Unfortunately that didn't happen and I am still registered in West Virginia where, even if McCain loses EVERY other state, he'll still win by a landslide.

I remember in the primaries.

Hillary won West Virginia by 70%.

People had the nerve to act surprised.

“She won by 70%? Wow, I wonder how that happened?” To which I would charmingly reply “Lying fucking asshole! You know EXACTLY why Obama lost West Virginia! You LIVE HERE! You can't live here and not know why he fucking lost here!”

And when it comes down to it it seems that the people urging me to vote for Obama are using essentially the same argument as the people that try to talk me into being a Christian: “What if you're wrong?”

What if I'm wrong? Let me tell you something, if the reason you go to church is fear of what will happen to you if you don't go to church then that's not faith nor spirituality, it's fear, and if your religion's primary motivator is fear then you can fucking keep it.

When I express doubts about Obama and/or voting at all I get hit with the same argument. “What if you don't vote and it comes down to ONE VOTE? Then your vote would make all the difference.” To me this is the same as “What if you don't worship Jesus and it turns out he's really, really real? What then?” Well to that I say again that if your faith is just a way of hedging your bets so you can get into fucking heaven then it isn't faith, in fact, I'd go so far as to call it spiritually deceitful and I hope Jesus kicks you in the nuts.

See, I have two rules, I don't believe anything the government tells me and I don't think spiritual/religious enlightenment can be taught. Any spiritual views you didn't form on your own are worthless at best and damaging at worst.

I mean Jesus seems like a pretty cool guy and so does Barack Obama and, if you believe the stories I guess Jesus did do some pretty cool things, but he could do miracles. If Obama wins West Virginia then I'll believe he can do miracles too. Another thing they have in common is I don't know how either of them planned to do anything, they just both talked a lot about 'hope' and shit like that the big difference is that Barack Obama is poised to be (arguably) the most powerful figure in American politics and Jesus got nailed to a tree.

I think I had a point in that comparison... oh well, where was I?

Right. Hardcore Christians, the ones that believe that every word of the bible is absolutely, literally, true as written are to me like that kid in the second or third grade that's the last one to give up their stubborn belief in Santa Claus. It never ceases to amaze me that people can read the bible, in which their protagonist tell people allegorical stories, and can't believe that maybe the whole book is allegory?

If you look at it as stories written by people who didn't know how the world worked and they were trying to explain what they thought was going on there might (MIGHT) be some value there. When you look at it like people really did live to be 2,000 years old and built a boat and filled it full of two of every animal and together they watched the sodomites drown or whatever and you BELIEVE IT, you're fucking insane.

Just like you are if you believe that Obama can do everything he says he can do. Yes, if you believe everything Obama claims then you're really no better than fundamentalist christians.

I'm not knocking him, mind you, I'm just not making him out to be Jesus like a lot of his supporters are.

Frankly, quite despite myself, I like Obama and I think he will do a lot of positive things for this country. Problem is, I know that the more a politician is liked, the more they're lying. Given how much people love Obama he's quite possibly the antichrist.

Not that I'm saying McCain is any better. In fact, I don't want him anywhere near the White House, especially with his dumb-ass running mate. I'm not supporting McCain at all. In fact, if you do vote, I think you should vote for Obama as the far lesser of two evils.

Yes, he's evil.

He's a politician and politicians are evil.

Yes, ALL of them.

I voted for the lesser of two evils once. Back in 2000. And he won. And that's why I haven't voted since.

Given that, do you people REALLY want me to go vote tomorrow?

Anyways, go vote for Obama Claus and maybe he'll bring you that hope you've all been wishing for.

You know, I say this every year (extra loud every four years) but voting is for suckers.

So we've got another election coming up.

I know this because people have given me shit all day because I didn't vote.

I didn't vote in the last one. I'm not voting in this one.

The reason I didn't vote last time is because I didn't like either candidate and since I didn't like either candidate it simply wasn't worth putting on pants and leaving the house. I wasn't going to vote for John 'Cold Water On The Groin' Kerry just because I don't like George 'The Dancing Monkey Boy' Bush. I refuse to vote for one guy just because I dislike him marginally less than I dislike the other guy.

I only ever voted in the first place for the novelty of it anyway. I believe in the abstract idea of it, but I'm not so naive as to believe that my vote (or yours or anyone else's) makes any difference whatsoever.

I'll repeat that: YOUR VOTE MEANS NOTHING.

This country was bought and paid for years ago by the people who are really running this country, and they'll be damned if they put any kind of power in the hands of the American public.

The American dream is dead. America is not a country, it's a corporation. They do not view us as citizens, we are consumers. It's ruling body formed by the corporations within the corporation. That's what capitalism does. Now I'm not knocking capitalism too hard. I definitely see it as the lesser of all the evils, it's just that where the other systems breed brutal, fascist dictators capitalism breeds economic, fascist dictators. It's a slight distinction, but I'll take it.

At best elections are a distraction. The opiate of the masses. They give you the ILLUSION of power. Our corporate overlords have already decided who our next president will be. Unless I miss my guess, and I doubt I have, the next president of the United States will be John McCain.

Now, why do I think that? Because this country, despite the times and whatever illusory progress we've made, will NOT vote for a black man (actually he's only a quarter black, but black enough to damn him) or a woman for president. Not in the kind of numbers that would give either of them a fucking Chinaman's chance anyway. Now, if the political process were real the Democrats would never nominate a woman or a black man (or any combination thereof) because they would want to win and if you want to win in this country you put your money on the rich, old, white guy. They're 43 and 0.

At first I thought, with all the negative reaction the war has generated against the Republicans the powers that be would decide to give the next election to the Democrats, fix the economy a little bit, and let the people think they'd 'saved the country' from certain doom, but that's apparently not the case. Unless they really want to piss off a lot of people and put Hillary and/or Obama in the White House
just to see the resulting riots in the streets, and riots there would be, the election will go to another Republican.

"But Ford!" You're all saying, "What if the people vote for Obama/Hillary in a giant show of solidarity and youthful idealism?" Well you'll be wasting your time, because it doesn't matter who gets the most votes because the people running the puppet show are the ones counting the votes. We have no idea of knowing who got what, especially now that many areas are switching to computerized voting machines that have no physical evidence of who voted for who. You'd have to be some kind of fucking moron to NOT cheat the results with a system that doesn't leave a paper trail.

I reiterate, your vote means NOTHING.

I should point out right now that I have no problem with the idea of a black man or a woman as President. In fact, if I believed in the process I'd vote for Obama, if for no other reason than it would piss of a lot of people. But I'm not gonna vote, cause he's not gonna win. What I'm saying is I'm not a racist or a sexist. I'm a cynic. I don't believe anything the government tels me or shows me, because everything it says and shows is a lie.

Write that down kids.

Besides, by the philosophy that everything the government tells us is a lie (and it is) then the more you like a candidate the more evil he is by virtue of the fact that he's a better liar than the others. This being the case, Obama is quite possibly the most evil man in the country.

Elections, like everything else we're shown, are just big puppet shows that exist to make us think we have some control. That's it. If Al Gore had beaten Bush in the first election we'd still be in exactly the same spot we are today because the President has NOTHING to do with policy making or governing. The whole thing about the 'controversy' over the election results was engineered to distract us from the preparation for the war.

That's right, the 'liberal' media is part of the puppet show.

Fucking write that down too.

This year the puppet show is about making the young people (whom those in our government view as nothing more than criminals) believe that they can change things by voting for change and 'change', in this case is represented by two completely unelectable candidates. It's all about dividing the people and getting them to look in one direction while they pull some really heinous shit somewhere else. It's slight of hand, smoke and mirrors BULLSHIT.

See, American politics are run like professional wrestling.

Yes, I loathe professional wrestling, yet I did work behind the scenes of a low-rent promotion for a time and was privy to the inner workings of things. Still, no one was more surprised than I at this revelation, but it's true, the characters are exactly the same. You have your over-the-top bad guy, the 'Heel' in the parlance, and your good-guy, or 'face' (shortened from 'Baby face'). They get time in front of the camera to yell loud, stupid things at one another and get the crowd all fired up.

The participants are totally transparent. McCain is the heel because he's an old white guy and he doesn't want to bring the troops home. Obama is the face because he's young and idealistic and he wants to end the war. Hillary is the asshole who runs into the ring at random intervals to hit someone with a steel chair. On the one side is the bad guy, who happens to be the champ by virtue of the fact that his party has held the belt for the last eight years and on the other side are the challengers who are successfully wrecking their faction and discouraging many of their fans with infighting and dirty tricks.

Dirty tricks that are making the face look better than the crazy, but still dividing the fanbase.

It's a big, loud, obnoxious, over-the-top spectacle with soap-opera drama out the fucking ass and people eat it up. They cheer and champion their hero, high on the idea (and the security that goes with it) that what they're doing matters. They buy into the cheap carnival song and dance because they want to. They desperately want to believe in the illusion and that gives it power. And all the while, behind the cheaply built stage P. T. Barnum counts the money and smiles.

And I'm sorry to say it, but you can't blame George Bush for where we are today.

That's not to say that I like Bush. Please don't get that impression. I hate that moron as much as anyone, it's just that I hate him for different reasons. I hate Bush because the powers that really run this country, the P. T. Barnums of the world, had the audacity to try and make me believe that FUCK UP has anything to do with running ANYTHING.

I can see the meeting. "How dumb do I think the American people are? Why I bet we could convince those stupid somnambulant (look it up) sons-of-bitches that GEORGE was running things! Someone hose him off and put his ass in a suit! This is gonna be funny as hell!"

You know, while it's nice that I can see what's going on it sucks that I'm the only one that seems to see the joke.

Wake up people. The only way to even begin to make a change is to boycott the election. DON'T VOTE. Show them the same contempt they show us.

Maybe then the cracks in the system will start to widen.

Maybe then the econo-fascists that are running things will fuck up in a major way.

Maybe then we can start to fix things.

Maybe then I'll be crowned Mary Queen of Scots...

I can tell you now that nothing will be changed by voting. Because even if they bothered counting the votes and put the real winner in office he (or she) will just be another puppet that was hand picked by the corrupt system in the first place.

Fucking wake up people!

PS: To whom it may concern, I guarantee it's cheaper to buy me off than to have me killed. Seriously, call me and I'll underbid any reputable assassin and probably most of the others as well. At least the ones that could actually pull it off. I mean, I'm no Chuck Norris, but I am heavily armed.

Ok, I've been kinda trying to stay off the subject of government here lately, but hey, it's fucking election time and Victoria showed me something that pissed me right the fuck off.



Now, first off, the Idea that this kind of thought exists makes me want to stab someone in the fucking eye. Second, the fact that a POLITICIAN thinks this, one that's in OFFICE and is fucking STUPID enough to say it out loud in a room full of people is fucking beyond belief.

Let alone the fact that she's still, to the best of my knowledge at the time I'm typing this, in office.

She's Oklahoma representative Sally Kern and she's refused to apologize for any of those remarks.

Here's how to get in touch with her:

Capitol Address:
2300 N. Lincoln Blvd. Room 332
Oklahoma City, OK 73105
(405) 557-7348.

District Address:
2713 Sterling Ave.,
Oklahoma City, OK 73127.

Email: sallykern@okhouse.gov

or

srkern@cox.net

Now, most of you are probably wondering exactly what my stance is on homosexuality.

I feel that if you find someone that you can stand to be in the same room with naked, you wanna touch their naughty bits, they wanna touch your naughty bits then don't let the fact that you may have the same bits dissuade you. Touch those naughty bits. Touch them a lot. Lick 'em, suck 'em, stick 'em in your nose. I have absolutely no stake in what you do with your sexual organs and God knows you probably don't wanna hear about mine.

Which is a shame because it's freaking HUGE.

But I digress...

But no, I have bigger things to worry about than who puts what where and how often. I don't care who fucks who and I don't think it has any place in our fucking government either. Of course I think that 90% of what our government talks about has no place in the government and the other 10% is stupid fucking bullshit.

And the idea that homosexuals are trying to infiltrate the government and public schools to 'turn people gay'? I thought those same institutions were already trying to discourage homosexuality? And they've been doing it for a long fucking time. How can they 'make people gay' if they can't stop people being gay? If they had any kind of influence in those matters then we wouldn't be having this goddamn conversation WOULD WE?

One sided conversation though it may be...

And they all say the same thing “Homosexuality is a slippery slope to Beastiality”. Well I thought a slippery slope was something you paid a hooker $50 for in a WalMart parking lot at 3AM (not that I know from personal experience or anything) and furthermore, wha? Let's nevermind the fact that the people that voice these opinions the loudest are the ones that are turning out to be closet homosexuals themselves (though it does make me wonder what kind of pets they have at home) but how the fuck does being gay lead into fucking animals? I've lived in the woods my whole life and I've known plenty of straight people that have fucked animals under various circumstances, so where's the connection? Because they're both 'sins'? Like if you don't 'Love Thy Neighbor' then you're on a 'slippery slope' to 'Thou Shalt Kill' them?

Actually, that's kind of a bad example because I hate my neighbors and if I could get away with it I'd murder all of them. With a hammer. They're alive only because it's illegal for me to kill them.

The concept of sinning is outmoded anyways since the people that do the most sinning are the ones that tell us which things are sins. And why the fuck is it a sin anyway? I mean homosexuality. Well actually, I mean both of them. I'm not attracted to animals, but hey, if you are and whatever you're fucking really doesn't seem to mind you fucking it then hey, fuck it. Just for god's sake don't take pictures of it. Or at the very least just keep them the fuck away from me. One time I downloaded a file of what I thought was going to be a German woman and her naughty stableboy and, to my shock and surprise, the stableboy never showed up and I'm left feeling totally inadequate (though significantly more adequate than most of you losers).

But you know what they say about fucking a horse. At least you know you have a ride home afterward...

Now usually, since we're on the subject of sinning, as soon as someone says “According to God's word...” I just zone out. I go to my 'Happy Place' which, ironically, is filled with lesbians prancing in a sylvan glade. It makes the rare occasions when I get dragged into church a lot more fun and I think God is just fine with that.

Let me tell you kids something, the Universe (I-E, God) doesn't care who (or probably WHAT) you fuck. The Great Universal Consciousness has much grander things to think about.

And how exactly is homosexuality a threat to ANYTHING? I could attempt to illustrate, but why should I when Mr Black can do it so much better:



So look, fuck whatever you like, I don't care. If any of you care then you need to get over it. It doesn't affect you, get the fuck over it and move on to things that might actually involve you or impact your own life. I'm all for gays having sex with each other, gays getting married, people fucking animals, but I DO draw the line at people marrying animals. Not because of any 'sanctity of marriage' bullshit (and it is bullshit) but because we don't need to add another column to the divorce rate charts.

Now for fuck's sake go fuck something and leave me the fuck alone.