“I couldn't live a week without a private library
- indeed, I'd part with all my furniture and squat and sleep on the floor
before I'd let go of the 1500 or so books I possess.” ― H.P. Lovecraft

Whistling In The Graveyard: June 19, 2005

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

As day two of housesitting for Sham and Macheal draws to a close a mystery is solved.

See, I read the note Macheal left me explaining how often the dogs get fed and where the food is and such and I notice that there's still a little food in the dog's bowl. This means they'd been fed that morning and since the animals get fed once a day then I shouldn't feed them again. So I go back to my house to pick up my alarm clock and a change of clothes, come back and the dog's bowl is now full.

Now, given my current level of mental derangement I actually had to wonder if the ghost of my dead landlord had fed the dog while I was gone.

Turns out Macheal's father had come by while I was out, but still the groundwork was laid and I couldn't help but wonder why it is that poltergeists only seem to rearrange nicknacks and generally annoy Craig T. Nelson? Why can't the restless spirits of the undead do helpful things? I mean, maybe they do, but people only credit them with the bad shit.

This brings me to something that's been bothering me. Why are there all these movies like "The Ring" and "Fear Dot Com" (which fear dot SUCKED) where someone is murdered and they come back from the dead to kill other innocent people that did nothing more than found out that the person had been killed?

Ghost: "Damn! I've been killed!"

Generic Movie Character: "I wonder what this videotape is? I'll watch it."

Ghost: "Aha! now you've seen something relating to my death! Now I'm going to kill you unless you expose other people to my nonsensical plot!"

Generic Movie Character: "Fuck me! Well, better spread that curse! Dum-de-dum-dum..."


I mean, what the fuck? And why do they all seem to have Kate Winslett in them?

There are actually conversations going on in the boards at the Internet Movie Database (IMDB) that are playing off of those too. Someone posts some lame story about a girl getting burried alive years ago and now that you've read the story she'll come kill you if you don't re-post the story. What's really disgusting is people keep re-posting the fucking thing! I read it, I didn't re-post it and I'm still alive (if you can call this living) and I'm sitting in a potentially haunted house here!

Jesus people! Read a fucking book or something!

But anyways, it's nice to be housesitting where, phantom landlord or no, the instructions aren't complicated. At my brother's place there's a page of instructions for each freaking pet and the fear that they might have a freaking Nanny Cam somewhere. I'm pretty sure they don't since when I watched thier place last I spent a few housr in thier kitchen naked, eating potato chips and scratching my balls with that wierd plastic spaghetti spoon thingie and nobody has bitched at me about it yet. What the hell are those things called anyway?

Oh, I'm actually feeling a lot better today than I did yesterday so tomorrow I'm going back out to my Mom's to do more work to fuck myself up more. Since I can't send a message to Mistress Victoria because her X-Box Live inbox is full I'll be playing Halo 2 as SMAGE for the next few days. If you're on send me an invite. I'm gonna see if the ghost wants to play too.

Monday, June 20, 2005

Ok, good news is I'm just barely going to squeeze by on the bills this month. Bad news is, I still have no idea how I'm going to get through next month. But if I can get through next month AND the mysterious research the government is doing tells them what anyone's eyes plainly can then I'll get a fat wad of cash with which to pay off the bills completely and not have to worry about them again till after I get my abdomen sewn back together.

What did I do to get the cash? I, and my stalwart roommate Jay, Helped my Mom clean out one of the stalls of her three stall garage and do a few other errands around the house. I hate asking my family for money (but I'm damn good at it) so I figured I'd do something in exchange for it.

As a result, I now feel like I've been beaten with a sack of wrenches and thrown out of a moving car. Right now my plan is to go back out to Mom's on Wednesday and start on the second stall, but that may require the aid of some pretty hefty painkillers. Which, fortunately, thanks to Medicaid I can now afford. :D

Too bad I have that damn superstition against using painkillers...

As I type this I'm sitting in the home of my friends Sham and Macheal. They've taken the kids off somewhere for a week and I'm tending thier animals. What's interesting about that is it's the very same house in which I killed my former landlord.

Some of you know the story, some of you are new, so I'll condense it. The full version is in my archives somewhere but I can't find it.

See, a few years ago, I spent an evening here in the company of said landlord which produced a humorous short story in which I kill him and bury him in the backyard. Well the next day as I'm printing off a copy of the story for the landlord, who I thought would see the humor and enjoy it, I get a phone call informing me that he's dead.

So now here I am sitting in the room in which I last saw him alive. I'm thinking this might make for another interesting story.

By the way, I'll likely be playing some Halo 2 on thier X-Box Live account over the next few days. If you wanna play me then shoot me an e-mail.

Sunday, June 19, 2005

So I went to see Batman Begins tonight.

First off, I want to say that it kicks complete ass and you should all go see it. They finally goddamn got it right. I'll be writing a full review of it for TerriblyWrong.com very soon.

I didn't really have the money to go, but fuck it. I needed this. I needed it bad. When your life is in the shitter and a handful of your best friends that you hardly ever see in the same place at the same time anymore drop in and say "We're going to go see Batman" you fucking go.

And I think a great time was had by all.

Brian was in from wherever the hell in Virginia he lives now. I've been there, but I'll be damned if I can remember where it is. He brought his new lady friend with him. She's way cool, and I'm not just saying that because she reads (and likes) my work. (Although, admittedly, that does help.)

Brian's cousins Mike and Scott came along. Mike brought his boy Christopher who absolutely loves me after seeing the assortment of sharp objects I have in my living room. (By the way, if anyone is looking to buy a sword just let me know.)

And last in order, but not in stature, was Big John who'd just happened to stop by and came along with us.

All of this was great and helped distract me from the fact that it is, as I write this, Father's Day. It's a day that I usually try to ignore. It's easier to let it go by without a thought, but this year it's kinda hard.

I just got off the phone with another good friend who's father is going through a bad mess right now. The father of two of my good friends actually, though you'll rarely see me in the same place as both of them at the same time. Anyways, what thier Dad is going through makes my bullshit problems look like nothing.

They've both called me recently and I didn't realize it till I got off the phone tonight, on Father's Day, that I tended to keep changing the subject when they brought up what thier Dad was going through.

Have I really not dealt with losing my Dad? Have I just kept changing that subject too?

It's bad enough that I'm avoiding my own emotions, but I'm blocking others from expressing thiers to me and that's not right. Because as crappy as my life might get my friends have been there for me and I know that when I'm sitting in my shitty house in the dark with no watter or power they'll still be there.

And I couldn't ask for a one of them to be any better.

I promise to be a bit more talkative next time guys. I promise.

Happy Father's day everyone.