“I couldn't live a week without a private library
- indeed, I'd part with all my furniture and squat and sleep on the floor
before I'd let go of the 1500 or so books I possess.” ― H.P. Lovecraft

Whistling In The Graveyard: April 27, 2008

Monday, April 28, 2008

I'm feeling a bit better now.

Went to both viewings yesterday. Funeral today. I'm beat. Haven't slept a lot. Due to the closure, having spent a lot of really good time with Gage's family (once I was able to actually form complete words in front of them) and being just generally grieved out I'm going to go sleep for about twelve hours or so.

I'm turning off the ringer on the phone, so if you call the house and you don't get an answer don't panic. I'm just unconscious.

Before I do so though, just to show you guys I'm getting back to my usual self, here's something I saw today that you might find amusing.

See, the cemetery was in Elizabeth where I went to High School (some of you may remember it from CNN when the whole Jessica Lynch thing was happening) and on the drive out there there's about seven THOUSAND churches and they all have those signs with the replaceable letters.

You remember a few years ago when those became popular. Some of them, I must admit, were kinda clever.

None of them really come to mind right now though...

Anyhow, it seems like wherever they were getting them from they ran out and there's some rule against using them more than once, because they're all trying to be clever and they're just not hitting the mark.

I grant you, it's a little hypocritical for me to point fingers and say their signs are lame, it IS a lot easier to be funny/witty when you can use words like 'motherfucker' whenever you want. That's the price you pay when you take the moral high-road though.

These days it seems like most of them are either too simplistic, or they use mental imagery that seems clear to the person writing it, but not so much to those reading it.

Here's an example (I know, it's not the actual sign, it's an artist's depiction, don't give me shit over it):

Now I get it, if you have faith in god you need not fear. Well why not write THAT? Simple, catchy, tells the story. Because when I see that sign, the whole faith thing isn't my first thought. My first thought is "So Fear plays 'Ding-Dong-Ditch'?"

Granted, there's is something deeply wrong within my headparts, but still...

But today, I see THIS:

Ok, what the fuck is THAT supposed to mean?

Seriously, any clues?

At all?

All it makes me think of is a church on fire, and while that does give me a warm feeling in the cockles of my heart I don't think it's exactly the imagery the author was going for.

So to prove my point I set the place on fire.

Ironically, I forgot to call 911.

I'm sure someone did eventually.

And it did make me feel a LOT better.

Zakk Wylde - Farewell Ballad