“I couldn't live a week without a private library
- indeed, I'd part with all my furniture and squat and sleep on the floor
before I'd let go of the 1500 or so books I possess.” ― H.P. Lovecraft

Whistling In The Graveyard: June 13, 2004

Saturday, June 19, 2004

This just in:

Darwin Award attempt

An 18-year-old man survived (but was in critical condition) after losing at a variation of Russian roulette (six open cans of Mountain Dew, one spiked with antifreeze) at a party (Princeton, W.Va., May).

Thursday, June 17, 2004

Once again, it's time to play:
RANDOM IM CHATTER!

TODAY'S EXPERIMENT: FUN WITH PORN BOTS!

sikenatenshun6903: hi... ayone there?

FordMaverick2000: Hi.

sikenatenshun6903: oh your there hi...

Ford Maverick: Hi again.

sikenatenshun6903: a/s/l (age sex location)?

sikenatenshun6903: iim 27/f/USA. was lookin at your profile. thought you might like to chat.

sikenatenshun6903: so what have yoi been up to ford_w_maverick?

sikenatenshun6903: copl. i was just hangin out watching tv. i was getting kinda horny (*blushes)

Ford Maverick: Sorry, got multiple conversations going, but I can talk.

sikenatenshun6903: feel like a little cyber fun with me ? please please...

Ford Maverick: Got a pic I could check out?

sikenatenshun6903: i have some pics on my homepage the link is in my profile, still working on it ...

Ford Maverick: Could you send me the link? I never click on the adult profile links.

sikenatenshun6903: ************* dot com. look for me on that page

Ford Maverick: So which one are you?

sikenatenshun6903: i think ill just take that as a yes... being as that im starting to get real hoorny here.. lol ok?

Ford Maverick: you're a bot, aren't you?

sikenatenshun6903: bot? whats that? some kiinda insult or something?

Ford Maverick: Bot: an automated program used to sucker people into porn sites.

sikenatenshun6903: :

Ford Maverick: I'll take that as a 'yes'.

sikenatenshun6903: alright how bout i get down on my knees in front of you and help you out of your pants?

Ford Maverick: Sure.

sikenatenshun6903: tell me what you want me to do with you while ii slip out of my panties

Ford Maverick: Order me a pizza.

sikenatenshun6903: oh yeah babe.. dont stop. while i slide my hand down between my legs and part my moist lips

Ford Maverick: Pepperoni and extra cheese.

sikenatenshun6903: oh it feels so good. Im holding your pulsing cock in my hand, my shiny red fingernails dig gently into your balls, while my full, soft lips engulf the mass of your meat

Ford Maverick: Speaking of meat, how about some sausage on that pie?

sikenatenshun6903: open my website so you can look at me while im sucking you. use the link in my prorile!

Ford Maverick: Where's my pizza?

sikenatenshun6903: what do you think of my pics?

Ford Maverick: I think you're a bot.

sikenatenshun6903: oh you mean one of those auto talk things or something right.. lol. well if you were in my apartment right now id lift up my skirt for you and i think youd be convinced real quick

Ford Maverick: Actually, we've pretty well established that you're one of those auto talk things.

sikenatenshun6903: shit the phone. dont stop stroking it. hold on...

Ford Maverick: The phone? Is it my pizza?

sikenatenshun6903: sorry, I have to take this call, probly take bout five minutes. If you want, come to my page and lets finish this. I have my cam on there ************* dot com look for me on there

Ford Maverick: What name?

Ford Maverick: Hello? I want to hear more talk about my balls.

Ford Maverick: Heloooo?

Ford Maverick: Bot bitch...

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

Summer Movie Review Time!

Have you seen the ad’s for the movie ‘White Chicks’?

I post on the Internet Movie Database and I’ve noticed there are a lot of people upset about this movie because of ‘reverse discrimination’.

Now, first off, I’d like to point out that there is no such thing as ‘reverse discrimination’. The idea that black people offending white people is ‘reverse’ implies that all discrimination comes from white people and anything else is counter to that.

As a white guy, and a rather progressive one at that, I kinda chafe at that notion.

Discrimination is a concept that all of humanity shares equally. It’s one of the things that makes us all so interesting and violent.

But what really bothers me about this argument is that in concentrating on the racial inequity of it, as imagined as it may be, we lose sight of one very important fact:

This movie is just going to suck.

See, my problems with the movie have nothing to do with race.

They have everything to do with the trailer making it look very, very BAD.

First of all, Marlon and Shawn Wayans are not funny. Daymon and Keenan (in that order) are funny. Marlon and Shawn are just riding coat-tails and should be ashamed of themselves.

But putting that aside, I guess by the title they're supposed to look like white chicks. Well they don't. They look like burn victims.

I also understand that they're supposed to stick out, that's where the humor is generated, I get it, but it's too much. This is due to the double entendre of crappy writing and lack of acting talent on the part of the two Wayans's in question. Keenan, you should be ashamed that you had any part in this, but I guess that’s what happens when your last good movie was the first thing people remember seeing Chris Rock in outside of SNL.

Apart from that, it's your standard black-meets-white comedy. It even has the obligitory 'listening to the radio' scene in which it's shown that all white people like one kind of music and all black people like hip-hop. How many times do we have to see that?

It looks like that’s about as far away from the cliché tree as this movie turd is going to fall.

I haven't seen it yet, and I don't plan to, but I'll bet you all a dollar that someone learns a lesson about how thier respective other race lives, and/or they all end up in a dance-off with someone possibly getting 'served'.

Monday, June 14, 2004

Rich found a link to that Transformers thing he found that actually works.

You guys have got to check this out.

Sunday, June 13, 2004

So I'm into the second day of my diet.

This fucking blows.

Right now I'm eating lite-peanut butter with no sugar added, all natural strawberry jelly on low-carb bread.

I imagine that this is what hell will be like.

Imagine food that looks perfectly good, that tastes a little bit like it's supposed to, but just flat out doesn't.

Actually, the bread isn't all that bad. It's some multi-grain something-or-other. Tastes like rye. I'm not a big fan of rye, but I could get used to it if I have to.

The problem is the texture.

To the touch, it feels like bread. It looks like bread, smells like bread, kinda tastes like bread. But eating it...

You ever eat a Nerf-ball? Well if you haven't, but you'd like to know what it's like try some tasty low-carb bread.

This is going to end in flames.

They're going to find me dead in a dumpster behind a Krispy Kreme, wearing a suit made of pizza.

But hey, if you've gotta go...