So I'm into the second day of my diet.

This fucking blows.

Right now I'm eating lite-peanut butter with no sugar added, all natural strawberry jelly on low-carb bread.

I imagine that this is what hell will be like.

Imagine food that looks perfectly good, that tastes a little bit like it's supposed to, but just flat out doesn't.

Actually, the bread isn't all that bad. It's some multi-grain something-or-other. Tastes like rye. I'm not a big fan of rye, but I could get used to it if I have to.

The problem is the texture.

To the touch, it feels like bread. It looks like bread, smells like bread, kinda tastes like bread. But eating it...

You ever eat a Nerf-ball? Well if you haven't, but you'd like to know what it's like try some tasty low-carb bread.

This is going to end in flames.

They're going to find me dead in a dumpster behind a Krispy Kreme, wearing a suit made of pizza.

But hey, if you've gotta go...