“I couldn't live a week without a private library
- indeed, I'd part with all my furniture and squat and sleep on the floor
before I'd let go of the 1500 or so books I possess.” ― H.P. Lovecraft

Whistling In The Graveyard

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

So I had a doctor's appointment this morning and, as usual, I was running late.

Now, even though I totally qualify for one, I never applied for a handicapped parking pass. I just feel that there are people that need it more than I do, plus, my disability isn't a visible one. This means when I get out of my car I don't appear to be disabled, I appear to be a big fat fuck that just wants the shortest walk possible and I don't care if I inconvenience someone that deserves that spot.

Unfortunately, this meant that I was kinda shit out of luck when it came to parking this morning. All the regular spots were full. It was either take my chances parking in a handicapped spot (and if they check those anywhere harder than a hospital parking lot then something is wrong) or in a clergy spot. Now, for those of you who don't know, I am technically an atheist. I say technically because I believe that there could be a higher power, but I have little evidence for such. So while I respect the handicapped spots I kinda resent that the clergy get special spots.

 I pull into the last clergy spot (there's like 5 of them, seriously?) and I head inside, making it to my appointment with 5 minutes to spare. The appointment went well, they patch me back up and I head back down to the parking lot after about 45 minutes. There are people walking around me, but I don't notice till I get to my car that the guy walking next to me is wearing a priest's collar.

 Priest: "Excuse me, are you a clergyman?"

 Me: "Nope."

 Priest: "You realize that these spots are reserved for clergy members here on important business?" 

Me: "I'm sure you and I differ greatly in our estimation of the 'importance' of the clergy." Priest: "I am here to deliver the comfort of Christ to those in need and I couldn't park in the spots designated for doing so because of you!"

 Me: "So you're into Jesus?"

 Priest: (Pointing at his collar) "I have devoted my life to the teachings of Christ!"

 Me: "Then forgive me." 

He almost choked on whatever he was about to say next and stormed off. All the way to his car. About 20 yards away. I think I'm going to use the clergy spots from now on. Seems like I deserve to. After all, I taught a priest a lesson about Jesus.


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