“I couldn't live a week without a private library
- indeed, I'd part with all my furniture and squat and sleep on the floor
before I'd let go of the 1500 or so books I possess.” ― H.P. Lovecraft

Whistling In The Graveyard: November 04, 2007

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Ok, I haven't really posted anything in a while and I'm sure you were all expecting something interesting for Halloween.

Well it's coming.

I had to wait on pictures. Now I'm waiting on the accompanying story.

Patience, my minions, patience.

Oh, I forgot to mention it earlier, but www.TerriblyWrongOnline.com was updated Halloween night for the first time in seven months. We're not sure what kind of schedule we'll be on from here on out, but I'll try to keep all of you informed.

I'm also working on a project for my X-Box. Actually, it's pretty much finished, but again, I have no digital camera of my own, so we must wait for pictures.

I do have something to say about X-Box live though. See, all the new games have achievement points in them that you, naturally, earn by accomplishing certain achievements within the game. In most games they seem to serve no purpose other than looking good on your gamer profile for bragging rights, but in Halo 3 you unlock special items by earning them

Well every so many rounds of Halo 3 I play I'll get a bunch of assholes in a group and one of them will say “Hey, you guys wanna do achievements?” and if everyone else in the group is a total fucking douche they get together and cheat to earn the achievements (and thereby the items) that are supposed to be a reward for playing the game well.

I refer to them as 'achievement whores'.

I despise them.

Not only are they cheating to earn awards for things they couldn't do on their own, they whine like little bitches when you don't play along. On Halloween night they had a special game set up called 'living dead'. In it, one person starts out as a zombie armed with either an energy sword or a gravity hammer and anyone they kill becomes a zombie. This continues till there are no non-zombies left. Because of the way it was set up there were achievements that were a lot easier to get.

As a result, I ran into a lot of achievement whores. Well I would listen to them talk before the match, hear where they were going to meet and what they were doing and I would then I, in complete accordance with the intended rules of the game, proceed to lay waste to the motherfuckers.

My 'reputation' score went from 100% down to 40% that night. Mostly from just two games.

What I love is that they bitched that I was cheating. Yes, I, who was playing by the rules of the game, never agreed to suspend the rules in any way, was 'cheating' by not helping them cheat.

Now I grant you, it was mildly unethical to say, fire a rocket launcher into a crowd of people who were making no effort to defend themselves, but they CHOSE to not defend themselves in a situation where defending yourself is the whole point of being there.

So I spent the evening pretty much obliterating fucking cheaters.

It was a lot of fun.

The really great part is that, in fucking up their efforts to get fraudulent achievements, I earned three or four of my own.

And after every match there's some dickhead that says (in reference to me) “There's always got to be one asshole that has to ruin things for everyone...” well guess what? If you're saying that then YOU'RE one of the assholes that's ruining the game for everyone that actually likes to play. Fucking play the game or don't. I'm not the best player out there, not remotely, and I get my ass kicked a lot, but I'm getting better and at least I fucking PLAY.

The highest achievement in the game is earning the katana sword. It's not functional, you just wear it on your back and it shows that you've earned an ungodly number of achievements. Well I've seen a lot of them running around and I guarantee that 90% were worn by achievement whores. If I ever have one it'll be because I actually earned the fucking thing, but I'll never wear it because to me it now symbolizes whiny bitchhood.

Another game where I pissed people off was in the level 'The Pit'. Some cowardly fuckers discovered a ramp they could crawl under where the zombies, not being able to use guns or grenades, couldn't kill them. This allowed them to get the 'Last Man Standing' achievement by simply waiting out the other players. This really pissed me off. So I ran to the ramp and told the line of people fighting to get under there that I would “fucking team-kill (kill a person on your own team) any fucking cowardly motherfucker that tries to get under that ramp”. They kept trying to fight their way under so I started rifle-butting people in the back of the head (instant kill) and then I tossed two grenades under the ramp to take out the asshole that actually got under there.

People were a bit... what's the word... fucking FURIOUS.

I fucking warned them though.

If you had help earning an achievement then you didn't really earn it.

If you win by using a glitch in the level, you didn't really win.

Achievement whores and cheap-asses beware. I have become death, destroyer of bitches.

You have been warned.

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