Friday, October 19, 2007
Now on to the bitching.
I went out today to pay some bills and, as always, I was amazed by the number of Dale Earnhardt stickers on peoples cars.
FUCK DALE EARNHARDT
Jesus I'd love to say that out loud in this town, but if I did the coroner would retire before he pulled all the bullets out of me.
Seriously though, he was a fucking NASCAR driver. He drove in a fucking circle for a living. Then he died. Why the fuck do people still have “Gone to race in a better place” (Rather a presumptuous assumption I might add) stickers on their fucking cars? And they're not old stickers. Cars that came out THIS YEAR have those fucking stickers and he died in 2001. I died in 2001, where's my fucking stickers?
Interestingly enough, I died the same week as Wendy's founder Dave Thomas.
That doesn't have anything to do with anything. It's just the first thing I saw on TV when I came out of my miniature coma.
Sometimes I'll be in a place where I feel safe enough to ask a NASCAR fan what their fascination with Earnhardt is and they always give me a big story about how talented he was (he turned left REAL GOOD) What a good role model he was (again, he turned left FOR A LIVING) and how selfless he was because when he died he was blocking for his son and the other partner on their team so that one or the other of them could get their first 1st place win.
Selfless? Motherfucker owned ALL THREE CARS. Trying to win 1st, 2nd AND 3rd place in the same goddamn race isn't selfless. Fucking greedy and assholish is what it is. And it always bothered me that in NASCAR they have 'teams'. It's just a way of ensuring that the people with the most money to spend come in first.
I guess NASCAR makes a pretty good analogy for our capitalist culture that way. Going around and around in circles for an eternity and the richest guy always wins. I may have to look into that metaphor a little more.
Come to think of it, haven't I bitched about this before? I think I did a few years ago. It's still going on.
Get the fuck over it assholes.
On to more important matters, Jay sent me this link, but I've heard this elsewhere too. Hollywood is having it's worst October in years, like 27% below average, and they're blaming it on Halo 3.
Now there is a lot of credibility to this seeing as how Halo 3 totally rules, but you can't lay all the blame at Microsoft's feet. The example everyone is using is The Heartbreak Kid. They're a little upset that it totally bombed. They spent like 60 million on it and it grossed about 15 in it's opening weekend. Is it Halo's fault that the trailers for that movie looked fucking god-awful? Is it Halo's fault that maybe people are sick to death of romantic comedies by the Farrely brothers and/or starring Ben Stiller?
And can someone explain to me how you spend 60 million fucking dollars on a comedy? What, was one of the main characters CGI or something? And beyond that, how do you spend 60 million dollars on ANYTHING and still have Carlos Mencia in it? I'd say deport him, but he's not Mexican. He just plays one on TV.
For a comedy you'd think they would have gotten someone funny for the role.
But I digress.
Look, they spent three years making Halo 3 (about the length of time it takes to film a movie), it was budgeted and promoted like a feature film, it has a better story to it than anything Hollywood has produced in a while, with multiplayer (on or offline) it's virtually endless, and you can buy it for about what it costs to take a date to the movie theater for the evening.
Plus, it's Mencia free.
So yeah, buy Halo 3 and fuck Hollywood.
At least till they make the Halo movie...
Monday, October 15, 2007
I believe the actual date was the 8th and that it's been a year now, however, with my growing detachment from reality and my ever increasing reliance on modern pharmaceuticals I could be quite mistaken on both counts.
I'm fairly certain they DID get married.
I'm not that far gone yet.
At least, I don't think I am. That's the problem with losing your mind though. It's kinda hard to judge the damage from the inside.
Where was I?
Oh yeah, Happy (late) Anniversary!
Labels: Kicked In The Ass By Love