Awright people, I know, I'm a week into this thing and allready I'm slacking. Well, I rarely do this, but I apologize. I realize that it is my solemn duty to spew forth bile and hatred at the world while simultaneously complaining about it's ills without offering any help, solutions or sympathy. See, the thing is, I seem to have been hired by the good folks at TerriblyWrong.com Yeah, I'm not quite sure how that happened either, but I thank them for helping me spread my message of hate to an even broader audience, beginning, hopefully, next month. So check it out people. I'll keep you updated.

So anyway I'm in the study this morning pondering over many a currious tome of forgotten lore and over the airwaves comes a song that I'd not heard in years. It was nice to hear again. Like seeing an old friend after a long time apart. But after a few moments I realized what song, and more importantly, what BAND it was. GREAT-FUCKING-WHITE. Yes kiddies, that's right, if you negligently kill a whole lot of people YOU CAN BE ON THE RADIO. That's all you have to do to be a celebrity now. Talent means nothing, inteligence and merit mean nothing, good taste means NOTHING. But if you're in a marginally talented, has-been, 80's hair band and you kill a bunch of people, now we're fuckin' talking!

I am but two days into the Blog experience and allready I can see this will end in flames.

Hello again fellow entropy fans. One again I come bearing a positive message for these dark times. Yes with terrorism a mounting danger and our brain-defective leader openly welcoming the end of the world in a hail of nuclear gunfire, it’s nice to see that our responsible news media is concentrating on the most important story of the day. That’s right, the entire US media is right where it should be: in Michael Jackson’s pants.

If anyone ever needed proof that the government uses the media in this country to keep the citizenry stupid and apathetic toward ruling class fucking them in the ass on a daily basis, this is it. I don’t give a fuck what Michael Jackson does, why he does it, or whom he does it to. But since I was simply forced to get on the subject he’s gonna get it too.

Yes, Michael Jackson is fucked in the head. Yes, he has some Peter Pan fetish. Yes, he’s had enough plastic surgery to make Cher say DAMN (If you look closely you’ll see that Jackson is altering his face to look like Peter Pan. Try it. Put Jackson’s face next to that of the Disney Peter Pan. Creepy isn’t it?). And when it comes right down to it, yes, it seems like he might like to diddle the penies of little boys, and you know what? I couldn’t care less. Let him do what he wants. Let him try to hide whatever scarred his psyche with the rewards of hedonistic wealth like society tells us we all should. Let him have what small comfort he can find in all that. And if some money grubbing parents want to whore their children out to him, then fine, let them. They’re driven by motives far less noble. It’s not like Mike is trying to lure kids into a van by the playground. He’s sought out. Jackson is a sick man trying to deal with himself any way he can. The parents of those children are the criminals.

Is this what the American dream has become? Sadly, yes. When our country was new, hard work and good ideas would make you successful, even rich. Those who were rich and successful were so because they were smart and worked hard. They were, for the most part, respectable people. This created the idea that money equalled respect. The respected people had money, ergo, the more money you had, the more respect you had. And how do you get more money than everyone else? But doing disrespectful things. It is now widely held that the ends justify the means.

Don’t get me wrong, I think capitalism has great merit. The beauty of it being that it takes into account the natural greed born into our species. There’s no way around it, greed is hard wired into us. No one is immune, we all find ways to justify our greed. To quote Michael Douglas: “Greed is good”. At least, it is when it drives us on to better ourselves, but somewhere along the line, the drive to better the human condition was supplanted by the idea that to stay rich you have to keep everyone else down. Those in power can’t take solace in success. They have to find ways to be ever richer, trying to fill that hole in their soul with money if nothing else. The more money you have, the better a person you are. It cures all ills and kills all pain.

Standing on the mountaintop with all their gold like fairy-tale giants snarling at each other, each grabbing what the others drop, leaving us mice to snatch what crumbs come loose. And all the while we’re distraced by a cheap puppet show of celebrity documentaries and even bigger whores eating horse rectums for just the CHANCE at more cash than they need. Money hasn’t helped Jackson much. Maybe it will help those who are willing to endanger their children for it.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, certainly the enditimes are upon us. I have a website! No good will come of this. Who has brought this calamity upon us you might ask? Well chief amongst them is my best girl Zombie from Deus Ex Machina and to a lesser degree the good folks at Terribly Wrong .Com. Blame them.

WARNING: If you are offended by foul language or otherwise threatened by free and original thought in any way, then turn back now you flawed, pathetic example of everything that's wrong with this world. And while you're at it, get the fuck off my planet, seriously.

OK, those of you who are friends of this little enterprise will know what a departure today’s collumn is. You see, I, Ford W. Maverick, the man who regularly in this very medium calls for the death of millions on rivers of blood, am speaking out AGAINST the war in Iraq. And before you say it, Sean Penn DID NOT get to me. He, and all of his attention seeking ilk can kiss my upturned ass. Fuck Sean Penn, fuck him in the ass with a big rubber dick.
I wholeheartedly believe that Iraq, and indeed the entire middle east, is full of people who need killing. I would have a great day if I were to hear on CNN that the entire middle east were vaporized and that every living Man, Woman and fucking camel were gone and not goddamn coming back. I am objecting to the fact, that George Bush Jr, in an effort to get revenge on Sadam for not dying last time (and supposedly attempting to assasinate Bush Sr.), is sending in land troops to eliminate the ‘threat’ created by am man that Bush Sr. helped to arm when we were hip deep in the cold war. See, Sadam was our friend then because we both didn’t like the Ayatolah and those darn Ruskies. Problem is, with them gone, we now have a megomaniacal asshole with a pile of weapons and the means to make more. How do we know Sadam has the capability to make weapons of mass destruction? How can we be so sure? Because we taught him how to do it and we sold him the Anthrax, and since we haven’t gotten it back, he must still have it.
So why didn’t Bush Sr. have Sadam killed back when he had the chance? Because of the potential of him being replaced by someone ten times worse. Aparently he didn’t explain this to Jr. Which brings me back to my point: Why are we sending in ground troops to placate little Bushie Jr’s machismo? Our Soldiers have to go in and possibly die because Bush has talked a lot of shit and now has to back it up. The World of politics is just a giant playground, friends. Now, why don’t we just blast the hell out of them from the air? We have the stuff to do it. We paid for all those bombs and airplanes, why don’t we use them? Better yet, why not nuke them? I’ll tell you why. For the only reason we and the Russians ever gave a shit about the middle east in the first place: OIL. We can’t damage or irradiate that oil. We want it. If it weren’t for oil the people of the middle east could have gone on peacefully murdering each other like they’ve done for thousands of years and we wouldn’t have to worry about them at all. We wouldn’t have to endanger the life of one US citizen. But no, the US had to stick it’s nose into centuries of blood feuds over oil. By the way, did you know that the Bush family once lent money to a middle easterner to buy oil wells? That middle easterner was one Osama Bin Laden. Little trivia for you there. After all, this is primarily an educational program.
Now, I must admit, I voted for George W. Bush. I’m not proud of it. I did it for two reasons: #1: I didn’t believe he could have possibly been as stupid as everyone said he was. I admit, I was wrong. #2: Because his only real opposition was Al Gore. Al Gore, as many of you know, is married to Tipper Gore. What many of you don’t know is that in the 80’s Tipper was a founding member of the Washington Wives, a republican organization for the censorship of anything they felt was offensive. Amongst their crimes was the eventual tearing asunder of the 80’s hair band Twisted Sister. Many say it’s insane to carry a grudge like that for so long and to take it so serriously as to let it influence one’s voting on a presidential candidate and I can see that point, but dammit: “We’re not gonna take it, NO!, we ain’t gonna take it, we’re not gonna take it, anymore!” Thank you, thank you!
I’m also pissed that Tipper, who stands for censorship and denial of personal freedoms married and supports a Democrat. I guess she wasn’t good enough in the sack to land a rich republican. I’ve allways imagined Tipper as the Lewinski sort. She probably fucked Bill too. It’s one thing to believe in things that are wrong, like censorship, it’s another thing to blow in the wind and drop those beliefs when they become inconvenient. Fucking Cunt.
That having been said, while Al Gore might not have gotten involved with the middle east over the personal grudge between the Bush family and Iraq, he would have marched our fighting men and women into the middle east if our oil were threatened just like your precious pig-fucking-hunk-of-shit Clinton did. Scratch away the surface and all politicians are exactly the same.
In summation:
-Middle East: Bad and should be wiped off the map
-George Bush: Moron
-Al Gore: Still not president
-Sadam Hussein: Megalomaniacal, camel-fucker
-Russians: Gone
-Osama Bin Laden: Friend of the Bush family
-Bill Clinton: Also bombed Iraq
-Twisted Sister: Martyrs of free speech
-Tipper Gore: Fucking Cunt