“I couldn't live a week without a private library
- indeed, I'd part with all my furniture and squat and sleep on the floor
before I'd let go of the 1500 or so books I possess.” ― H.P. Lovecraft

Whistling In The Graveyard: August 10, 2003

Friday, August 15, 2003

Here's a couple from around my way.

A 30-year-old man was sentenced to probation for entering a funeral home's living nativity scene last Christmas and having sex with one of the sheep (Charleston, W.Va.).

According to an Associated Press dispatch, a bolt of lightning struck the steeple at the First Baptist Church in Forest, Ohio, on July 1 (damage: $20,000) just as a guest evangelist was beseeching God for a sign from above.

Thursday, August 14, 2003

Remember, you can still access the lost issue of Terribly Wrong's e-zine by clicking here. As for the new issue, well, I don't know. I've really enjoyed working for Terribly Wrong and I sincerely hope that the forces that be intend to keep it going. You'll know something as soon as I know something.

Wednesday, August 13, 2003

For those of you that don't know, Rob Zombie's "House of 1,000 Corpses" came out on video today. So for those of you that live in an area that was too pussy to carry it (like me) you can go rent it. Now. Go right now!

Monday, August 11, 2003

First Virginia swiped West Virginia's top two tourism officials. Now a
prominent advertisement for a Virginia travel guide seems to promote a
well-known, scenic spot that's actually in West Virginia.

A Virginia tourism advertisement that has been appearing on the home page
for The Washington Post's Internet site looks suspiciously like the
gristmill at Babcock State Park, according to West Virginia Tourism

It's not clear how it happened, but West Virginia Tourism officials have
been laughing about the gristmill image for days.

"They can't annex Fayette County," said Matt Turner, a spokesman for West
Virginia Tourism. "We won't allow that."

The advertisement has a picture of a mill with a reddish-appearing wheel
beside a rocky stream. It says "Beauty. History. Adventure. Virginia Travel
Guide." The ad rotates with other advertisements on The Washington Post
home page.

The gristmill at Babcock, which is actually known as the Glade Creek Grist
Mill, has been a popular image for years. It is used on West Virginia
tourism material and has appeared on calendars, in photography books and
elsewhere. At least within the state, it has reached icon status.

To be fair, there's some debate about whether the picture in the Virginia
advertisement is really the Babcock gristmill. But it sure looks that way
to officials who know West Virginia's parks system well.

"I pulled it up, and at first I said 'nah,'" said Kim McHenry, programming
service administrator for West Virginia State Parks. "I can't say for sure,
but it looks a lot like it.

"It shows up in a lot of places. I've seen it on the front of romance
novels and all kinds of things. You never know where it's going to show

In this case, the timing is particularly funny.

A few months ago, former West Virginia Tourism Commissioner Alisa Bailey
became chief executive officer for the Virginia Tourism Corp.

And Chris Canfield, formerly West Virginia Tourism's advertising director,
started a new job as Virginia's advertising director this month.

Canfield laughed about the coincidence. Because Virginia seems to have been
promoting a West Virginia attraction, he suggested a little quid-pro-quo.

"We expect you guys to promote some beaches and the Shenandoah Valley for
us," he said. "It's part of the 'Two Great States, One Short Drive:
Discover the Virginias' campaign."

It's not clear if West Virginia Tourism officials will go for that kind of
cooperative effort. But they are enjoying the Virginia advertisement.

"I can't say I blame the folks in Virginia for using beautiful West
Virginia photographs in their ads," said Steven Keith, West Virginia
Tourism's advertising manager. "That strategy has been working well for us
for years."

Sunday, August 10, 2003

A Husband Shopping Center has opened where a woman can go to choose a husband from among many men. It is laid out in five floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights.
There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down, except to exit the building.

So, a woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door says: Floor 1: These men have jobs and love kids.

The woman reads the sign: "Well that's better than not having jobs, or not loving kids, but I wonder what's further up?"

So up she goes. The second floor sign says: Floor 2: These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking.

Hmmm, better." says the woman. "But, I wonder what's further up?"

The third floor sign reads: Floor 3: These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, and help with the housework.

Wow," says the woman, "very tempting. BUT, there's must be more further up!"

And, again, she goes up. On the fourth floor the sign reads: Floor 4:
These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

Oh, mercy me! But just think...what must be awaiting me further on?

So up to the fifth floor she goes. The sign on that door says: Floor 5:
This floor is here just to prove that women are impossible to fucking please. Thank you for shopping and have a nice day.