“I couldn't live a week without a private library
- indeed, I'd part with all my furniture and squat and sleep on the floor
before I'd let go of the 1500 or so books I possess.” ― H.P. Lovecraft

Whistling In The Graveyard

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

As day two of housesitting for Sham and Macheal draws to a close a mystery is solved.

See, I read the note Macheal left me explaining how often the dogs get fed and where the food is and such and I notice that there's still a little food in the dog's bowl. This means they'd been fed that morning and since the animals get fed once a day then I shouldn't feed them again. So I go back to my house to pick up my alarm clock and a change of clothes, come back and the dog's bowl is now full.

Now, given my current level of mental derangement I actually had to wonder if the ghost of my dead landlord had fed the dog while I was gone.

Turns out Macheal's father had come by while I was out, but still the groundwork was laid and I couldn't help but wonder why it is that poltergeists only seem to rearrange nicknacks and generally annoy Craig T. Nelson? Why can't the restless spirits of the undead do helpful things? I mean, maybe they do, but people only credit them with the bad shit.

This brings me to something that's been bothering me. Why are there all these movies like "The Ring" and "Fear Dot Com" (which fear dot SUCKED) where someone is murdered and they come back from the dead to kill other innocent people that did nothing more than found out that the person had been killed?

Ghost: "Damn! I've been killed!"

Generic Movie Character: "I wonder what this videotape is? I'll watch it."

Ghost: "Aha! now you've seen something relating to my death! Now I'm going to kill you unless you expose other people to my nonsensical plot!"

Generic Movie Character: "Fuck me! Well, better spread that curse! Dum-de-dum-dum..."


I mean, what the fuck? And why do they all seem to have Kate Winslett in them?

There are actually conversations going on in the boards at the Internet Movie Database (IMDB) that are playing off of those too. Someone posts some lame story about a girl getting burried alive years ago and now that you've read the story she'll come kill you if you don't re-post the story. What's really disgusting is people keep re-posting the fucking thing! I read it, I didn't re-post it and I'm still alive (if you can call this living) and I'm sitting in a potentially haunted house here!

Jesus people! Read a fucking book or something!

But anyways, it's nice to be housesitting where, phantom landlord or no, the instructions aren't complicated. At my brother's place there's a page of instructions for each freaking pet and the fear that they might have a freaking Nanny Cam somewhere. I'm pretty sure they don't since when I watched thier place last I spent a few housr in thier kitchen naked, eating potato chips and scratching my balls with that wierd plastic spaghetti spoon thingie and nobody has bitched at me about it yet. What the hell are those things called anyway?

Oh, I'm actually feeling a lot better today than I did yesterday so tomorrow I'm going back out to my Mom's to do more work to fuck myself up more. Since I can't send a message to Mistress Victoria because her X-Box Live inbox is full I'll be playing Halo 2 as SMAGE for the next few days. If you're on send me an invite. I'm gonna see if the ghost wants to play too.

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home