Well our first venture into presenting at comic conventions went very well. SPACE Con was pretty awesome and we'll be posting pics and stuff in the next couple days hopefully.

Now for the other stuff.

I figure most of you reading this already know most of the stuff that's gone on, but a lot of you are also the people that want me to post more so here ya go!

Remember that sore tooth from a few posts back? Well a couple weeks ago it broke in half and I had to get it pulled, but never fear, my appointment to get it checked out by the oral surgeon is coming up in about a week and a half...

I'm thinking about not canceling the now worthless appointment, going in and asking the oral surgeon for a routine cleaning just to piss them off.

Unless the surgeon looks anything like the girls in the movie 'Naughty Oral Surgeons Vol 12' then she can pull a tooth of her choosing as long as I get the same kind of action the dude in the movie got.

Anyhow, I charged $10 worth of gas after the tooth extraction and forgot to make note of it when I got home, so two days later the charge comes through and bounces three other charges, so because I went in the hole by $3.72 it cost me $110.

Now I'm not bitching about the first charge. That was my fault, I admit it, I dropped the ball. What I am bitching about is I watched my account online for two full days and it didn't even appear as a pending charge till after I made a deposit that more than covered it, but they back dated the charge. what's more, they didn't back date the charge to the day it was made, they just back dated it to before I made my deposit. After that, their penalty fee (also backdated) caused two more overdrafts. I went in to ask them if they'd work with me a little and let me off with just one overdraft fee (the one I deserved) and the bank lady got kinda pissed.

So I called customer service and got them to refund one overdraft and hold the $7 a day additional charges and I think that's about as good as I'm going to get.

I hope bank lady finds out and gets furiously pissed off.

Is it just me though, or does anyone else remember the day when banking didn't cost this much money? Part of the selling point of banks used to be that they would give you this thing called 'interest'. Interest, for those of you who don't know, was a policy in which banks would give you money based on how much money you had in the bank. My having a bank account costs me an average of $200 a year or so depending on just how much they decide they want to fuck me in any given month.

The only reasons I bother having a bank account at all are A: My check direct deposits and that saves me time, B: I can use my bank card online, and C: I don't have to carry cash anymore. That's it. I don't write checks anymore, so those are worthless. I think that's why I get them for free...

Mom is insisting on deeding my car over to me. This in and of itself isn't a bad thing. I love my car more than my own life (and by extension more than any ten lives that aren't mine) I'm just worried that once I own it myself the medicaid people will say "Well you own a car now, so you can sell that and once you're out of money again we'll give you your health coverage back".

Now Medicaid says I can own a car and it won't affect my policy at all, but I'm used to dealing with West Virginia's Medicaid people and they would outright lie to me whenever it suited them, so I'm a bit nervous at the prospect.

Anyway, I need to put the car in the shop tomorrow so that I can drive it home and get it inspected before Mom will renew the license on it. Problem is, she needs to do that before the 1st and I can't get home till after the 1st. This means I'll get to drive the car home with both an expired inspection sticker AND a dead license, get it inspected (which they probably won't do with a dead license), then go to the DMV to get it re-licensed so that Mom can deed it to me and since I'm an Ohio resident the West Virginia inspection sticker will then be completely worthless.

I tried to explain this to her and she got really mad at me.

For those of you that are wondering YES my Mother is completely insane.

This means that I may have to drive home on Wednesday or Thursday to deal with this shit (IF they're done fixing the car by then) and get back up here in time for the Unitarian Con I'm attending over the weekend.

Yes, I'm going to attend a weekend-long function at a nationally recognized church. No, I'm not finding religion, I'm just hanging out with a cool group of people I know and (perhaps only marginally more important) trying to hook up with attractive young college girls.

The other reason I have to go home after the con is I need to dig through the charred remains of my old house and see if any of my stuff survived. See, someone in my old neighborhood decided it would be a lot of fun to light my goddamn house on fire the other night. I wish to god I was making that up, but no, someone goddamn set my motherfucking house on fire.

Most of the first floor is a total loss, but the majority up the second floor is reportedly ok. This, according to the fire department, is due to the unusually high percentage of asbestos in the walls and ceilings.

Umm, yay asbestos?

All in all though I'm somehow in a pretty positive state of mind, which is probably better evidence than ever there's been before that there's something very, very wrong with me...

Anyhow, SPACE went very well, so well in fact that we're talking about getting a table at this year's Mid-Ohio-Con. I'll let you guys know as soon as possible if we decide to do it because, unlike SPACE which was for independent comics which are a very selective taste, Mid-Ohio-Con will have a much broader appeal and I'm sure a lot more of you will want to attend and give us money.

Oh, and there will be famous people there, like my good, close, personal friend Brad Guigar, author of Evil Inc.

Ok, maybe 'close, personal friend' is overstating it a bit, but I've met him twice and he laughed at one of my comics, so bite me.

I also met Ray Park and Daniel Logan last year and they were both way cool too. I've got a funny story about meeting the two of them, but it's a little long so I'll post it later. I was going to post it some time ago, but due to some computer problems I lost most of my pictures from that con.

So that's pretty much it for now. I'll post again just as soon as some newer, fresher hell rears it's head.

By my reckoning I should spontaneously combust by Friday, so that should be noteworthy...

Ok, so a bunch of stuff has happened since I last blogged.

I got the top on my car fixed, Brian and Andrea came to visit again, I attended my Grandmother's 100th birthday, met Zombie in person for the first time attended my second GWAR concert, took a pleasant but unexpected road trip and managed to wrap it up by being a big jerk yet again.

Lets take them one at a time.

My car had this vinyl top on it and it had been obvious for some time that there had been rust collecting under it. It's actually the second vinyl top that had been on it. We replaced the first one 20 years ago or so when we had it repainted, as the original wasn't in such great shape. Well I'd put off tearing this top off for fear of what I'd find under it. Well I took a look when part of it sort of caved in.

What I found was too horrific to take pictures of and even if I could have taken them I couldn't post them here. It was nothing but rust and holes. Absolutely none of the remaining steel was salvageable, so I finally took everyone's advice and went to my Uncle's sheet metal shop to see if someone there could weld some new steel in there. Apparently it was so bad they couldn't do it on site, but he told me where to go to get it fixed and he'd cover it, which he didn't have to do, but it was damn nice of him since it ended up costing a LOT more than I thought it was going to.

Anyways, I got real lucky and found a 1970 Maverick at a local junkyard for $150And they used it to replace EVERYTHING between the windshield and back glass. I got lucky again that they didn't have to cut off the parts over the doors because it would have taken longer and cost a lot more. It took them a week and I got it back last Friday.



I don't remember what I did Saturday. Now that I see that in print it's starting to bother me. Surely it was something of vital importance. That or I got kidnapped by aliens or something. I do remember that night I got a phone call from Brian, whom I didn't know was in town, asking if I wanted to go to breakfast in the morning. Apart from that, nothing.

Fucking aliens.

So Sunday I wake up at like 9 AM in preparation for breakfast, which ended up being at 1 PM. Saw Brian and Andrea and Nate who used to co-habitate in the hell-hole here. We went to the Chinese place which might seem like an odd choice for breakfast till you realize that Chinese people eat breakfast too.

Then I went to Grandma's birthday party from 2 to 4, came back to the house, threw a bunch of random clothes in a bag (because apparently I didn't have time to do it before with the alien abduction and all) and headed for Columbus.

I arrive at Victoria's later than I'd planned, we get to the show later than I'd planned, and meet Zombie, her friend LDG (Living Dead Girl) and LDG's boyfriend (or LDG-BF) just in time to catch Kingdom of Sorrow.

Now most of you guys think I know everyone in my comics in person, but despite the fact that I met Zombie online in December 2002 this was my first time meeting her in person. And yes, she does kick as much ass in person as she does digitally. She recognized me right away, which is good because it would have been easy to get lost in that crowd, but kind of depressing in that it meant that I was as fat in her mental picture of me as I am in real life.

My insecurities aside though, Kingdom Of Sorrow was pretty good:

Derek Kerswill : Drums (Scattered Remnants, Seemless, Shadows Fall, Twelfth of Never, Unearth)
Kirk Windstein : Vocals, Guitar (Down, Valume Nob, Shell Shock, Crowbar)
Matt Brunson : Bass (Shedding Old Skin)
Jamey Jasta : Vocals (Hatebreed, Icepick)
Steve Gibb : Guitar Crowbar, (ex Black Label Society)



I didn't see Toxic Holocaust, but here they are:



But the real reason to be there was GWAR! As always I tell you all that you absolutely MUST go to a GWAR show at some point in your life. Even if you don't like their music (but really, what's not to like?) the stage show is the most incredible thing I've ever seen.

For those not acquainted with GWAR, this clip should serve as a proper introduction:



Oderus Urungus: Lead Vocals
Flattus Maximus: Lead Guitar
Balsac the Jaws of Death: Rhythm Guitar, Backing Vocals
Beefcake the Mighty: Bass, Backing Vocals
Jizmak Da Gusha: Drums, Percussion

And just to make things especially cool, GWAR's sometimes estranged manager Sleazy P. Martini has returned and was in attendance and he's running for president!



But unfortunately, backing vocalist and GWAR goddess Slymenstra Hymen wasn't there.



So yeah, the show was insane. Here's my shirt:



And just because I think it's funny here's Brian after we saw GWAR in 1995 or 96, I can never remember which.



It's too bad I had to censor his eyes out because he looks totally stoned in that picture.

Anyways, that's part 1. Part 2 will follow soon. Till then, here's GWAR's appearance in the Super Nintendo version of Beavis and Butthead, the video game.

OK, I had a big post I was gonna do, but I just don't have the time. Had to put my car in the shop this week and pick it back up yesterday and tomorrow I'm having breakfast with Brian and Andrea, then my Grandmother's 100th birthday, THEN I'm driving to Columbus to see GWAR!!!

This show is at the Newport Music Hall in Columbus Ohio, same place where I saw Motörhead, October 26th at 7 PM. See you there, unless you have absolutely no taste in music.

Ok, status report time.

Gothcoming fucking ROCKED. The first two sets of pictures are up HERE and I believe more will follow. Well, more than the ones taken by Mistress Victoria's personal photographer (some of which I'm in) which I know are coming.

As I mentioned before, Gothcoming was a Steampunk event this year. I tried explaining steampunk to my Mom. It was kinda like trying to teach calculus to a circus monkey, but without all the shit-chucking. Mom just heard the word 'Goth' in the title and went off on an “I didn't raise you that way” speech. Then later I explained to her that the proceeds went to autism research and she dialed it back a little (VERY little) but she's still convinced that the whole thing was a Satanic, homo, sex-orgy, which is patently ridiculous.

Everyone knows the Satanic, homo, sex-orgy is on Halloween night so as to better contact Satan.

God, I mean, you think someone knows you...

Anyway, for those of you who don't know, here's how Wikipedia defines steampunk:

Steampunk is a subgenre of fantasy and speculative fiction that came into prominence in the 1980s and early 1990s. The term denotes works set in an era or world where steam power is still widely used—usually the 19th century, and often set in Victorian era England—but with prominent elements of either science fiction or fantasy, such as fictional technological inventions like those found in the works of H. G. Wells and Jules Verne, or real technological developments like the computer occurring at an earlier date. Other examples of steampunk contain alternate history-style presentations of "the path not taken" of such technology as dirigibles or analog computers; these frequently are presented in an idealized light, or a presumption of functionality. FULL ENTRY

Picture space vampires in the old west and you have a pretty good idea of the look.

I didn't do a full costume, but now I wish I had, because the costumes kicked ass. I'll put up some of my favorites when I get Victoria's pictures. I did score a really sweet pair of antique driving goggles to which I added a pair of jeweler's lenses. The overall effect was very steampunk and I got lots of compliments on them, so I'm going to do a complete costume around them for Halloween. (On a side note I'm also working on more pieces for my sister's Ghostbusters costume so that she can have enough stuff to take two friends with her this year.)



Aren't those sweet? Got them dirt cheap too (thank you eBay). Had to clean them real good and straighten them out here and there, but nothing too major. The only real downside to them is that when I'm wearing them I quite obviously can't wear my prescription glasses. That wasn't too terrible as my eyes aren't that bad, but it did make it kinda hard to see the details in some of the costumes and in one instance as I was coming down the stairs I saw one stair but, due to the slight difference in my depth perception, there were actually two. This led to me falling backwards, but I caught myself before hitting the floor by straining the hell out of my left ankle, calf, hip and shoulder. I probably would have been better off just hitting the floor. All in all though I didn't hurt myself nearly as bad as I thought I did.

Apart from the glasses the only special thing I wore was my new 'SECURITY' shirt. For those of you that have never had the occasion to wear one, the security shirt is great. People get the fuck out of your way when you're wearing it. They also have a tendency to ask you where the bathroom is, which is a little bit less awesome, but overall the shirt delivers a great feeling of power and I highly recommend it.

Side effects may include the overwhelming desire to watch Road House, sleeping with Kelly Lynch (which, though still an appealing prospect, is becoming less and less so all the time) and randomly head-butting people.

Anyways, I'll post more when I have more pictures. The only other thing I need to mention is the musical guest at Gothcoming was Voltaire who, unbeknownst to me at the time was the voice of the brain-eating, meteor creature from the Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy and the author of my new theme song, seen here respectively:





That last one is dedicated to my Mom.

So it's been an interesting week.

On Sunday I went to Mike's place to see Motörhead and ended up driving into the worst wind storm Columbus Ohio has ever seen.

Mike, his attractive next door neighbor and myself sat on the fire escape and watched the trees bending alarmingly in the balmy 75 mile an hour breeze.

It seemed like a good idea at the time as the power was out and there was therefore nothing to do inside.

While on the fire escape we watched one of Mike's fellow tenants moving his stuff out. Given that I'd planned on staying a few days after the show to look for apartments this seemed fortuitous. I then found out that the attractive neighbor was moving as well. That was good in that it increased my chances of getting an apartment there, but it sucked in that she was attractive and single (and we were kinda hitting it off) and she was leaving.

At this point I'd like to mention, because people keep asking, that yes, I am dating someone, but she and I are not dating exclusively. I say this only because people keep asking and if I don't say anything it makes statements like those last few seem rather disrespectful and that's the last thing I want.

Especially since she reads this.

Hi, Honey.

Anyways, two empty apartments is good. They're nice and they fall within my budget.

Well, kinda.

It fits within what my budget should be once I get up there. I've been worried about the money involved in moving, but I have to do this. Besides, a lawyer friend of mine (yes, apparently you CAN use the words 'lawyer' and 'friend' together) informs me that the disability people down here are shortchanging me, so not only will I get more month-to-month up there, but I may be owed back money down here.

Thanks suckers!

I mean, taxpayers...

Just remember, I'm making this move in an effort to get patched up and begin paying taxes again myself. Granted, the way the economy is going I'll be paying them in Mexico where I intend to flee when the revolution begins, but I'll still be paying them somewhere and that's the important thing.

And I know what you're all saying; “Mexico? Why Mexico? Why not Canada?” Why not? Because EVERYONE is going to go to Canada. All the Americans that haven't been sent to Iraq and stranded there when we run out of money to bring them home AND all of the Mexicans that have come to America, lured here by jobs illegally offered by Republicans who then campaign against illegal immigrants taking all our jobs. In fact, I hope you people don't feel too high and mighty because we're on the verge of becoming to Canada what Mexico is to us: a cheap source of untrained labor for the rich to exploit without the basic human rights of US citizenship getting in the way.

Sorry, got off on a bit of a tangent there.

Where was I?

So yeah, cross your fingers for the apartment people.

Anyway, due to the power being out over like 90% of Columbus the Motörhead show was canceled for Sunday night. Motörhead is bad-ass under any circumstances, but with no electricity, yeah, it'd rock and all, but not to it's fullest Motörhead potential.

You compare:

Acoustic:


Electric:


They both rock, obviously, but the electric one is far more metal and metal = GOOD.

So Lemmy, in his infinite drunken benevolence, saw fit to reschedule for Monday night at which time they kicked major fucking ass. Anyone who doubted them can just go to hell and burn in the pit of the unbelievers.

A side-effect to having no power though was that I was unable to use my sleep machine Sunday night, which meant no REM sleep. This didn't take away from my enjoyment of the show at all, but it meant, in essence, that I didn't sleep at all. It also means I didn't sleep Monday night either, so my original plan of sticking around for a few days to look for apartments was looking like less and less of a good idea, but fortunately Mike got his power pack and I was able to catch a few hours sleep that afternoon before heading over to K's place. I'd only planned to stay till Wednesday or so, but Mike was celebrating his birthday on Friday as it turned out so I decided to stay the whole week and go celebrate.

Then I got the call about the window.

Seems sometime Tuesday or so one of my windows got broken and my brother's cat escaped.

I know what you're thinking, but I assure you, I had my sister checking in on the cat. It did not break the window in an effort to get out and forage for food. The window was broken from the outside apparently. So I had to chose between coming home to sit around and wait for the cat to come back and let it in, then drive all the way back for the party on Friday, or just stay in Columbus. I decided to stay, even though I couldn't get my Mom or sister to tell me over the phone whether or not they'd bothered to get someone to nail a piece of plywood over the hole in the side of my house or not. Mom just said she was going to get Chuck to put in a new window, but shit, I could go back home and still wait a month before that happened. I just trusted that they couldn't possibly be so irresponsible as to leave the house completely open for days at a time (my brother would though) and stayed in Columbus where I continued to have a great time.

I remember spending an afternoon with Mistress Victoria, though due to the sleep deprivation I don't remember exactly which afternoon. At the time I'm typing this I don't know if she's got her power back yet. Despite the lack of electricity though we got out and she showed me around town and we discussed plans for the Gothcoming event (October 3rd), which I think is going to be really wicked and I hope to see some of you there. I got to check out the Bar of Modern Art (BoMA) where it's being held on Friday night and it was pretty sweet. Remember, it's a steampunk event, so come prepared to party like it's 1899.

Yeah, they made me say that. It's the tagline.

So I'm gonna wrap it up now since my focus groups tell me you fuckers don't have the attention span for much over two pages.


Have fun ruining Canada, gringos.