So I went to my meeting at the DHHR today.

I honestly don't know wheather to laugh or cry.

I get up early to go to the meeting. I decided to go as early as possible because they close at 4:30 and I figured since the shortest visit I ever had over there was around four hours I better err on the side of caution.

So I get there about noon.

As I type this it's 12:41.

Yeah, I know that seems like a good thing, but remember who we're talking about here.

Turns out that the appointment was sceduled for 2:30, but they took me back early.

So they renewed the food stamps, which I didn't ask for, but now kinda require because they couldn't just give me the one thing I asked them for in the first place.

They STILL have not gotten word back from Charleston from the people reviewing my case as to wheather I'm disabled or not.

I don't know why I expected they might have made some forward progress. I mean, the appointment was only on November 17th 2004, they're not machines over there or anything...

So now all my bills are in some state of getting shut off because dealing with the government takes so godfucking long and the hernia is getting bigger and the pressure is getting worse and worse as I lose more and more of what passes for my sanity.

Lets recap: when I had the money to keep my bills paid they couldn't help me with any Medicare because even though the ammount of money I had was far too little to pay for my surgery, it was too much for them to be able to help me.

Then I had almost no money left, but my bills weren't in arears yet. I applied for medicaid and they gave me food stamps.

I didn't understand it either.

Well now I owe at least $100 on each bill, I just got a collection agency letter for my fire, police & trash fees, my health is getting worse and I still don't have any medicaid.

All she did today was extend me food stamp benefits, which I never asked for, but am now dependent upon.

So they did nothing for me, but they did it very efficently. Way to go America. Aim fucking high.

So i thought to myself, as I do whenever I reach a moral or ethical dilemma in my life, WWHSTD?

That's right. What Would Hunter S. Thompson Do?

Typically, when faced with a moral or ethical dilemma, Thompson would ask himself WWHAD? Or, What would Horatio Alger Do?

I don't know what Alger would have asked himself, but I know what he and Thompson both would have done. They'd have written about it.

I don't know why I didn't think of it sooner. From this point on, I am no longer a loser (well, not JUST a loser) I am doing research into the American health & welfare system.

I am an investigative journalist.

As a matter of fact, if anyone reading this is in publishing and you think this is a groovy idea then drop me a line. I'm sure you'll find me quite receptive.

The best possible ending this book could have is me being offered a ton of money for my book, getting a huge advance and going down to the local strip club and getting a blow job.

Help a guy out, would you?