“I couldn't live a week without a private library
- indeed, I'd part with all my furniture and squat and sleep on the floor
before I'd let go of the 1500 or so books I possess.” ― H.P. Lovecraft

Whistling In The Graveyard

Sunday, September 12, 2004

Beach Trip: Day Two

Vacations are a lot like frontal lobotomies; you never know how much you need one till you get it.

Damn, I need to write bumper stickers.

We got up about noon today, went downstairs and were immediately snagged by time share people.

Since they offered us $70 to listen to thier pitch we went to the resort. The place was damn nice too. If I had money falling out of my ass I'd have signed up. Our tour was given by a really hot Jamacian woman. Durring the course of the conversation she mentioned that she was a grandmother, which made her a G.I.L.F. in my book. Serriously, she didn't look a day over 30. Of course, like Chris Rock said; "If a woman looks 26 and says she's 26, she's damn near 40".

She never mentioned how old she was (women usually don't reveal that without bamboo shoots under the fingernails) but I think Rock's advice holds up here.

She was really hot.

So we slipped the noose and came out $70 richer, but I didn't get any sweet, Jamacian, grandmother action.

I knew I should have gotten a picture. Without one even I think I sound like a sicko.

When we got back to the hotel we hit the beach. It was overcast and the water was still pretty rough. We couldn't go out very far without getting knocked down, but it was still great. Perhaps hurricane season wasn't the best time for a vacation, but it was pretty cheap and we don't have to deal with too many people.

As I've stated many times, if you're reading this, you can take for granted that you're probably in my cool book, but humanity in general is really pissing me the hell off lately.

Especially my neighbors, which is part of why I'm on this trip.

Later we went out looking for a place to eat and drove through what looked like a giant carnival that had gone on too long. A string of arcades and junk shops about a mile long, filled with hot women, rough looking guys and harleys.

We'll likely go check it out tomorrow. I noticed a few of them had swords and god knows there's allways room for one more in my living room.

It took some looking, but we finally found a really good seafood restaraunt (Really? Seafood? Near the ocean you say?) called 'Hook's'. I nearly choked when I found out it cost $19 for the buffet. It was worth it though.

You know, if someone told me I could never go home, I don't think I'd be too broken up right now.

Oh, for those of you that might be in the area, we're at the Four Points Sheraton on South Ocean Blvd, room 314.

BYOB-ASAP.

Oh yeah, I guess today was 9/11. At the risk of sounding like a total prick, I'll think about that later.

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