Ah keep your eyes on the road,
Your hands upon the wheel.
Keep your eyes on the road
Your hands upon the wheel.
Yeah, we're going to the roadhouse,
Gonna have a real good-time.

Song: Roadhouse Blues
Artist: Doors, The
Album: Best Of Doors

Yes, last night it finally happened. It came into the house DVD collection like some thing that inevitably goes... somewhere (you try coming up with fresh goddamn metaphors all the goddamn time).

Yes, we finally broke down and Nate purchased the 1989 Patrick Swayze classic: ROAD HOUSE.

For those of you that are too young or out of it to remember this movie, Mike Nelson from Mystery Science Theater 3000 describes it thusly:

"What I really believe is that a film should be judged on how well it comes off when compared with the Patrick Swayze film Road House. For Road House is the single finest American film. Certainly it stinks, but I believe the filmmakers meant it to, and succeeded grandly.

Therefore, films not containing poor performances by Patrick Swayze or Kevin Tighe will be judged harshly. Those that lack Ben Gazzara as their evil villain will be roundly castigated. There is no excuse for not telling the story of a legendary bouncer who finds love and confronts his demons at a small bar just outside Kansas City."

- From the book: Mike Nelson's Movie Megacheese

Having said that, I hold Road House as the epitome of 'junk-cinema'. It's like a Snickers bar. It's full of unrelated, sticky, gooey, crap, none of which is any good for you, but the end result is quite satisfying.

I hadn't seen it in years and I was a bit worried, but it's still a fun movie. It's total crap, but you can't look away. Except during Swayze's multiple helpings of man-ass, that is.

"Keep watching, my friends, and, above all, enjoy yourselves. Together we will find another Road House, and every last one of us will be bouncers who find love and confronts our demons at a small bar just outside of Kansas City. You know, metaphorically speaking."