The following is an actual IM conversation.

HunterRose: How goes it?

FordMaverick2000: Round and round.

FordMaverick2000: What's up?

HunterRose: Just sitting here naked spanking it to pictures of Linda Mcmahon.

FordMaverick2000: So pretty much as usual then?

HunterRose: Yeah except I am using salad tongs.

FordMaverick2000: Wear out the cheese grater?

HunterRose: Yep, and I am out of sandpaper.

FordMaverick2000: Too bad you havent bought that gila monster yet.

FordMaverick2000: Just stuff him down your shorts and he does all the work.

HunterRose: Felching with a gila monster, that would be fun to explain to the emergency room.

FordMaverick2000: I don't think you'd make it all the way there.