So I mentioned some time ago that I’ll soon be moving into a house in a part of town that, while not being the worst neighborhood, could be better. In fact, I would have already started moving were it not for the need to evict about 50,000 unauthorized tennants.

Yes, there are roaches.

Anyway, I just realized yesterday, that I have been talking to people on the phone about bug-bombing the house before we move in, but I haven’t been specifying that I meant “Bug-Bomb”. I’ve just been saying, into a cell phone to other cell phones and cordless phones, things like “Dammit, if I get anything done today I’m gonna go bomb that house.”

Now I’m not any more paranoid than the next guy (they just keep TELLING me I’m paranoid to keep me off guard…), but since the inception of the patriot act, and due to the fact that I HAVE been monitored by the FBI before (really, I have, but then some of you may have been too) I’d like to take this opportunity to clarify to everyone that I am NOT planning any acts of terrorism, and I am NOT planning to blow anything up. I love God and my country and apple pie and all that.

NOW GET OUT OF MY FUCKING BUSHES!!!