“I couldn't live a week without a private library
- indeed, I'd part with all my furniture and squat and sleep on the floor
before I'd let go of the 1500 or so books I possess.” ― H.P. Lovecraft

Whistling In The Graveyard

Monday, February 12, 2007

And now, just because I know you guys love them, here's more things that piss me off.

Let's start with something I forgot about the Weather Channel. Before they had the term "Lake Effect Snow" to throw at you every 5 seconds (I counted) it used to be El Nino. Everything was about El Nino. Better watch the fuck out! EL NINO IS COMING!!!

So as I was remarking to myself the other afternoon, while debating with myself about weather to get out of bed or not, "Well at least they're not talking about El Nino..." I hear the following phrase:

"Of course this lake-effect snow is special because it's enhanced by El Nino."

SON OF A BITCH!!!

I'm beginning to think I only turn the Weather Channel on because I like being pissed off. God knows there's no other good reason.

Something completely different that's pissing me off has to do with the new Jim Carrey movie 'The Number 23'. It's not really the movie itself. It seems like a perfectly passable tale set within the framework of Christian mythology and that's not necessarily a bad thing. That's one thing I have to give Christianity, it can make for some decent cinema now and then. I mean, look at 'The Prophecy' starring Christopher Walken. It ranks right up there with 'The Shining' as one of my all time favorite romantic comedies. It's just when you try to apply reality to it it doesn't work.

Anyhow, this particular movie crosses Christianity with the equally nonsensical pseudo-science of Numerology to make a premise that might be passable if you just don't think about it.

Or at least it might be passable were it not directed by Joel Schumacher, who still needs to eat my ass for 'Batman & Robin' Goddammit.

But what's pissing me off about it is in the trailer where some pinhead confidently says "Two divided by three equalls .666, the number of the devil."

I have a number of problems with that line. First off, anyone that knows me knows that I suck at math. I mean I'm bad to a legendary degree. I mean so bad that I couldn't get my psychology degree primarily because I could only pass one math class.

Math 011.

The one the football players take.

The one the English department calls 'Math for poets'.

And I got a D in it

And I only got that because half of my grade was a paper about Pythagoras.

A biography.

The only math content in it was his theory that I copied right out of the math book.

And I got an A on the paper

Look, I just suck at math ok? But even I know that two divided by three does not equal .666. It equals .66666666666666666666666666666667. Now if you round that off it's .667, and if I'm not mistaken it can probably be expressed as .6r (r for repeating). Neither of those is .666, and even if it did it wouldn't matter because the universe (which I have been privy to the inner workings of) does not round or abbreviate. Those are human concepts and human concepts do not hold sway over the laws of the universe. Quite the opposite in fact.

And even if it DID equal .666 that's not the number of the beast.

Revelation 13:16-18: Also it causes all, both small and great, both rich and poor, both free and slave, to be marked on the right hand or the forehead, so that no one can buy or sell unless he has the mark, that is, the name of the beast or the number of its name. This calls for wisdom: let him who has understanding reckon the number of the beast, for it is the human number, its number is six hundred and sixty-six.

That's SIX HUNDRED AND SIXTY SIX, not six hundred and sixty six thousandths of a percent or however the fuck you express .666. he is the Magnificent Hell-Beast and his name shall not expressed by a fraction.

But then again, they do say the devil is in the Details...

But yeah, numerology is bullshit.

In any event I'm going to stop talking about this. Not because I'm afraid of the devil, but because I'm afraid of the crazy fuckers I found while looking up that quote. Anyone that can't understand why I'm afraid of organized religions need only do a Google search for 666 and I shall consider my case rested.

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