“I couldn't live a week without a private library
- indeed, I'd part with all my furniture and squat and sleep on the floor
before I'd let go of the 1500 or so books I possess.” ― H.P. Lovecraft

Whistling In The Graveyard

Saturday, July 24, 2004

I'm not dead.

Truth is, I've just not had a whole lot to write about lately.

I've not been sleeping very well the last week or so and I've really felt like crap. Seems to happen every time I try to get part of my life together. I think I may have legitimate psychological problems at this point (as opposed to all the ones I imagine I have).

But I think I find a way to make things work, then I suffer a setback, then I go back to sleeping all day and playing video games all night. I've been going through this little cycle for quite some time now and I've grown strangely comfortable with it.

Things, however, are changing.

It's finally gotten into my head that if I don't do something soon my relatively good health is going to deteriorate rather quickly.

In fact, it's already begun.

I'll spare you all the details, but I need to get on Social Security or something like it so I can get the surgery I need. If I don't, well, I'd rather not think about it. Suffice it to say, if I get my surgery I make a full recovery and live a full life. If the government and my old insurance company and ex-employer keep fucking with me I'll get sick, become crippled, and then die.

Other than that life has been pretty good.

I'll write again when I'm not in such a defeatist mood.


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