Saturday night Mistress Victoria and I were on hand for the latest visit of our galactic lords and masters GWAR at the Newport Music Hall.





If you weren't there you should have been, because it wasn't just a kick-ass show (as usual) but it was the 25th anniversary of what is in my opinion the greatest on-stage rock and roll spectacle EVER.

A lot of people shy away from GWAR because they don't like metal, but even if you hate the music (in which case there truly is something wrong with you) the stage show will melt your unworthy fucking brain.




THE EPIC TALE OF GWAR!

Eons ago, there existed an elite group of chaos warriors who ravaged the galaxy with a boundless hatred of all things alive. They were called the Scumdogs of the Universe, and they grew in might and fury, the greatest weapon in the arsenal of their cosmic Master.

But they became too powerful, and too defiant, and for their cosmic crimes were banished to the most insignificant planet in the universe…the seething mudball known as Earth.

Millions of years passed, and they slumbered, until the pollution of your world de-thawed these creatures from their ageless coma…and now they stride the Earth, living gods, dedicated to one goal, the destruction of the human race, and the eradication of existence itself! Wait- that’s two goals!

Hark to the hideous majesty of your MASTERS, rulers of Earth, the MIGHTY GWAR!!!

It is I, ODERUS URUNGUS, lead singer of the sickest band in metal history, Earth’s only openly extra-terrestrial rock band, and the destined destroyers of not only the human race but also reality itself. GWAR! Hulking, heaving, dribbling WAR-GOD’s who like nothing better than putting hordes of our sniveling fans to the sword while playing the marauding mutant metal that we are famous for! Star’s of stage and screen, carvers of stem and spleen! GWAR LIVES!

Vocals: ODERUS URUNGUS – GWAR’s supposed “leader”, the size of my ego is matched only by the heft of my broadsword, and the girth of my Cuttlefish!!







Guitar: BALSAC THE JAWS OF DEATH — The most cultured of the group, this bear-trap jawed monstrosity is rumored to have a scrotum for a face.







Guitar : FLATTUS MAXIMUS — This gassy disaster slaughters thousands with his shredding solo’s and reeking flatulence. Eats only vegatarians.







Drums : JIZMAK DA GUSHA—Dog-headed Jizmak is the most obnoxious GWAR-rior and delights in the pounding of all things, including himself! Hails from The Wide World of Sports.







Bass: BEEFCAKE THE MIGHTY— Immensely angry and immeasurably violent, Beefcake is, quite simply, a sexual god.





















I first saw GWAR in 1996 at my favorite bar in Morgantown WV, the Nyabinghi Dancehall. Don't bother looking for it, it's not there anymore. The old Nyabinghi was charmingly dangerous with it's busted walls sprouting bare wires, unexpected steps in the middle of the dance floor where walls (possibly load-bearing ones) had been removed and the scorch marks (which I had initially mistaken for black paint) covering the celing from the last time the place had caught fire. It was the kind of place that made you feel glad to be alive once you got out.



The next time was right here at the Newport last year.

Here's the shirt I wore:


Well when I got my GWAR-stained shirt home I wanted the stain to remain, so I ran it through the dryer and hung it in the back of the closet to set. Well when Victoria told me they were coming back I remembered the unwashed shirt and decided to wear it again!

I got much better coverage this time around since last time was in late October and I was wearing my trenchcoat. This time was just the shirt. It looks way cool I know, but it comes at a price. See, to get into the spray I had to get into the pit. If you get into the pit, you have to deal with the mosh.

I am too old to get into a mosh pit. I know this now. However, even though I know this, the pain keeps reminding me...

Seriously, I feel like I've been hit by a fucking truck, but it was totally worth it.



PS: The autographs on the ticket? Oh yeah, they're real. We got to meet the band after the show (credit goes to Victoria on that one as I severely doubt I could have gotten back there without her) and get this, they remember the Nyabinghi Dancehall!

Granted, they mainly remember what a 'logistical nightmare' it was to set up and perform there, but still, they remember it!

I'm gonna go have some vicodin and go to sleep now...

So I've had a few days to recuperate and read the comics I got. The standouts are:



As stated in my previous post, Girls With Slingshots is written and drawn by Danielle Corsetto. She's a native and current resident of West Virginia, very smart, very funny and damn good looking. If you haven't already guessed I'll probably be stalking her in the very near future, and that was BEFORE I read her comic, which kicks ass.

When I met her I mentioned that I do comics too (I left out the part about my last update being over a YEAR AGO) and that mine was all about dick and fart jokes. She countered by saying that hers was all about booze and dildo jokes.

I can't tell you all how close I came to proposing on the spot.

Luckily I've been informed that girls don't find that kind of romanticism to be all that attractive these days. Now back in the dark ages when your average lifespan was about 18 years things were different. The first-meeting proposal was often a necessity as one or the other (or both) of you were probably already dying from something. This is but further proof that I was born in the wrong era. Hell, who am I kidding? I'm not even from this planet...

What was I talking about? Oh, the comic. I hate to go comparing it to things, but if you like Sex In The City it's in a similar vein only it's funnier and there's a lot less naked Kim Catrall.

The synopsis is two girls, Hazel the cynical writer and her friend Jamie get drunk and hilarity ensues. There really is more to it than that, but without getting into plotlines and things it's all you really need to know to get you started.

Oh, Hazel owns a talking Irish cactus named McPedro. He drinks a lot too. Now GO READ THE STRIP!



The other standout is:



I got to read all the issues of the Living Corpse and it's pretty fucking sweet. The setup for it is a bit more involved though.

Without giving away too much of the plot, an incident occurs wherein the dead return to life and start munching on the living. One of the reanimated is Mr John Romero (a nod to George Romero, author and director of Night of the Living Dead) but he's different. For some reason (which I'm not going into because I don't want to spoil anything) he regains his personality and memories and is charged with guarding the boundaries between the worlds of the living and the dead.

Also, it contains very little naked Kim Catrall.

Anyhow, I'll be following these two comics very closely from now on and if I haven't done it by the time you read this I'll be adding permanent links to them on the sidebar to your left.



Also, I'd like to announce that my own new strip should be ready soon. Character designs are almost done and the first few strips are already more-or-less written, so watch for the big announcement here any day now as well as the new locations for my other two strip archives AND very soon the first issue of the book Remy and I have been collaborating on.

And as if that weren't enough I can go ahead and tell you that Remy and I will be attending The Mid-Ohio Con on October 3rd and 4th and though we won't have a booth or anything we will have sketchbooks with us if you happen to find us.