Ok, first off, I know you're all expecting an in-depth recounting of my evening of strip-club debauchery with the delectible Mistress Victoria. Well we had to postpone that a day or two. As we speak I wait with baited breath for her phone call.

And if anyone knows about baiting...

But yeah, stay tuned for the details. If you live in the Parkersburg area you might want to keep an eye on the local news. I'm expecting an evening of that magnitude.

Now, on to what I really came on to post about. The update for Terribly Wrong Online went up yesterday and once again I was the scapegoat for the new issue being a day late.

I can't deny that I'm always running behind on the comic strip. The perception seems to be that I just blow it off. The reality is that I spend between 20 and 30 hours a week on the strips and sometimes I actually have to do other shit. This week it was an unscheduled trip out to my Mom's house for a couple days, where I worked on the strip, topped off with a trip to pick up my brother's mother in law at the airport where I worked on the strip on my sister's laptop while waiting on the plane.

That was Friday night. Some of you may know without me having to say anything that Last Friday was a goddamn fun night for air travel.

So I stay up till 8 AM Saturday morning finishing the strip to Make Mace's Saturday morning post time. I did this because he wanted my to email him the strip even though I'm perfectly capable of uploading it to the website myself at any time.

Well imagine my surprise when I woke up 8 hours later and found that the site hadn't been updated.

Imagine my further surprise to read the following when it was updated the next day:

"Yes yes yes... we're posting a day later than usual. Tough shit. There wasn't a goddamn thing I could do about it. I actually had all the parts I needed well before deadline this week... well, except for the comic strip, But Ford is late with that so often at this point that I'm pretty sure he's just doing it to piss me the fuck off. (There will be revenge for this eventually, dear brother... oh yes. There will be revenge.)"

Maybe it's just me, I can be a bit thick, but I'm a bit hard pressed to figure out exactly what the revenge is supposed to be for. I only delay the strip for two reasons, family and medical and over the two weeks since the last strip posted I've had more than my share of both. It may not seem like it, but I hate missing a deadline as much as anyone, including Mace, but every time I bust my ass to make a deadline the update still gets posted a day late and I still end up having to eat shit.

Now, whenever a family member needs me to do something away from the computer and I say I have a comic strip to finish I hear the same thing: "So? It's not like you're getting paid to do the strip." And then I have to go carry 20 lb blocks in the rain or dig up a septic tank because they don't understand that I'm kinda still fucking injured here. But I'm getting away from the point which is that I don't get paid for the strip. Not a dime. And I'm fine with that. I do the strip just because I like doing it and I love that you guys like it too, but my family members don't read it and don't understand why I do it.

Actually, I don't think anyone understands why I really do it. Apart from the attention, I don't really know either. Probably the same reason I do the blog. So I don't have to turn to murdering random people to express myself.

I just save that for special occasions.

And I'm not kidding about the amount of time I spend on these things just doing the art. Sometimes the idea takes days to come to me and then I have to tailor the dialogue to fit around the art in a pleasing manner. In short, these things don't just fall out of my ass. The idea that I'm just out screwing around somewhere and putting it off is somewhat insulting. I spend more time than a part time job on this thing, time that I could be using to play World Of Warcraft or jerk off 30 or 40 more times a week (actually it's pretty sad that since the strip cuts into the Warcraft time the warcraft has been cutting into the masturbation time so Warcraft is actually destroying my relationship with MYSELF) when the actual update takes an hour or two.

And I'm not trying to cheapen the efforts of the other contributors. I know from experience that writing can be every bit as intensive as art and take just as long and be just as under appreciated. Nor am I discounting Mace's efforts in updating, especially given that he built the site from the ground up and is still dealing with the damage I did to it when I kept it afloat (barely) while he was in jail, but I happen to be the #1 contributor to the site apart from he himself. I do this every week.

Why don't I get a strip or two ahead you ask? Funny story there. See, every time I do that, Mace prints a 'bonus' or 'special' strip and I'm right back to square fucking one.

And I've said it before and I'll say it again, I really do appreciate the eagerness to get my work out there to be seen, I see it as complimentary, really. But come the next week I'm pressed to beat a deadline again.

But I've ranted about this long enough and this is starting to sound like a letter of resignation, which it certainly isn't. I have no intention of quitting, you'll still get your fix.

Here's what I want from you people. All of you that read Terribly Wrong Online, show me a little fanmail love. Send it to both TerriblyWrongOnline@gmail.com AND Ford_Maverick@hotmail.com Tell Jack what you like best about the site and just how you feel about my work ethic. Also, many of you have said how much you like the character Cinnamon from the strip, well Mace has been pressuring me to kill her. It seems that he's the only one that doesn't like her, so you might want to show her some love too.

And to show my appreciation I'll email back a never before seen desktop walpaper to everyone that sends an email.

And if working on it takes time away from the strip then that'll just have to fucking happen won't it?

Now I'm gonna go figure out how to play Warcraft and spank the monkey at the same time.

Allright then.

In response to my earlier post about going to the strip club and about the misgivings of some of my readers, Mistress Victoria has thrown down the gauntlet.

And right after she threw down the gauntlet she informed me that this Saturday (yes, that's St Patricks Day) I WILL be accompanying her to every titty bar in this God forsaken town and I "WILL FUCKING LIKE IT!"

Well far be it from me to disagree with my wooest, truest, leave me black and bluest, so Saturday it is!

Anyone wishing to tag along can contact me here in my comments or at Ford_Maverick@hotmail.com, but be forewarned: the Mistress says that I'm her bitch. Everyone else has to pay thier own fucking way.

In other news, as far as I know Terribly Wrong Online should be updating next week. My contribution, the comic strip, was done last week, but pretty much nothing else was. Well given the extra time I started messing with things and to some extent the strip got undone, but it'll look way better when it gets finished the second time.

That sound you just heard was Mace's blood pressure skyrocketing. Don't worry Chief, it'll be just fine.

Also, I took my car to my regular garage to get a second opinion on my brake situation. Sears quoted me over $500 and they wanted to replace every brake related part but the pedal. They even wanted to replace the goddamn brake fluid. Well that didn't sound right to me seeing as how I had most of that stuff changed just a short while back and I haven't had any of the problems that one would notice from that kind of wear. Like a total lack of the ability to stop.

My place says I need new brake pads, which I already knew, new calipers, and it wouldn't hurt to turn the rotors. It's costing me just over $200 for parts and labor.

Say it with me now... FUCK SEARS.

Oh, I also somehow got another goddamn leg infection which isn't supposed to happen anymore. So I called the office of the doctor that told me he could easily fix the problem. His secretary informed me that West Virginia Medicaid won't pay for that surgery. I went into the office and asked the guy there (the real doctor was out) and asked if there was any way to prevent the infections from happening till I can get the other surgery done.

He suggested losing weight.

MOTHERFUCKER!

I'm going to attempt to make an appointment with the real doctor soon because I get the feeling he knows a whole hell of a lot more than his staff does. I'm not throwing in that particular towel just yet. The good news though is that this infection was very short lived, so maybe the goddamn $50 panty hose are actually helping and maybe this is just a fluke. My legs do feel better since I got them so fuck, I don't know. One positive thing though is now I don't have to wait till I get that surgery and heal up from it to get the other surgery done, so this may have accelerated the timetable and that's pretty damn good.

Oh, my brother and sister-in-law had thier second kid yesterday.



That's about it for now.